


Louis is like the sun, and Harry's smile can stop wars

by Clamat_Submissa



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mpreg, Sad!Louis, Too much fluff, so much fluff it'll make you gag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-07 08:25:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clamat_Submissa/pseuds/Clamat_Submissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis Tomlinson considered his life to be everything he wanted. That is, until he received shocking news that changed it all- even drove the one he thought was the love of his life away,</p><p>When he feels his life spiraling downward he meets barista Harry Styles, a beautiful and genuine human being who gives him a reason to smile every day.</p><p>Yet, when his problem starts to become too noticeable, Louis wonders until when those smiles will last yet hopes that they're there to stay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This Is How It Was

**Author's Note:**

> hello hiiiii so I've been working on this since July, but seemed to hit a huuugeee writer's block. But I /want/ to finish it, so I'm posting this first half in hope that I'll get motivated to finish it if people like it :3
> 
> Dedicated to [Kayleigh](http://read-some-porn.tumblr.com) for standing my cynicism over this and helping me out! And shoutout to [Shayla](http://keepsongiving.tumblr.com), my beta for this first half (and hopefully, my second as well), and to Lottie and [Shar](http://thegreatgayorgy.tumblr.com) for indirectly (and directly) motivating me! :)

Louis has never been one for self-pity; however, it was at times like this that he just had to engage in the activity by crying his guts out, questioning why things happened to him, and just hating himself and life, as there was no one else in his life to pity him.

It was all thanks to Matt, though. Matt—he was sweet, once, perhaps. They had been together for three years, and on their four-year anniversary, Louis wanted to feel him completely. And so, he let Matt, for the first time since they were together, refrain from using a condom (they were both clean, so he didn’t see what the big issue was). That night was amazing; he could still remember the amorous, stinging feeling of being pounded into both harshly and sweetly—if that made any sense. However, that was a horrible mistake.

Louis didn’t know he could get pregnant—hell, since when can guys get pregnant? Nevertheless, he could, and apparently, they do. He should’ve known there was something wrong the day after they had sex. It was weird, really weird, when he went to the bathroom to pee, and he found himself secreting some sort of milky substance. He was shocked at first, but shrugged it off as cum (it _looked_ like it) and cleaned himself up. But then, five days later, he started feeling frequent cramps in his lower stomach; those came and went for the next seven days. Matt had noticed he was in constant pain and often asked Louis if he was all right. Louis would just shrug, down an Advil, and move on.

A week and a half passed, and while still getting cramps now and then (but significantly less than before), his chest started to feel heavier, in a way. Additionally, his nipples—god, they were just so _sensitive_ (which was some kind of blessing when in bed, made him get overstimulated easily, but hurt normally). They often became swollen, sore, or tender, and there was always a sort of tingly feeling running across his chest. It was weird; everything was weird, but he didn’t think more of it—and neither did Matt. He was pleased that he could get Louis keening and begging easily, loving to have him pliant and submissive from the start.

Louis started feeling fatigue and morning sickness about three weeks after doing the deed. He normally loved to get up in the mornings; he loved to walk across to the park, sit down in one of the beautifully painted benches in front of a pond, and just watch the crystalline body of water stay still and ripple when a hard wind gust came, or when some creature submerged into it. Yet one morning (it was a Wednesday, he was certain of it, because it was the day he usually watched Miss Universe re-runs when he returned while Matt worked), he found himself panting and gasping for air just from walking to the kitchen, which was about twelve foot steps away from the bedroom.

He put his hands on his knees and tried regaining his breath, taking deep breaths in and out. After a while, he straightened up and made his way to the refrigerator. As soon as he caught a glance at some leftover Gouda from his dinner the other night, he found himself sprinting towards the bathroom and hunching over the toilet, hurling heavily. He felt uneasy the rest of the day; he vomited twice more, felt extremely tired just by lowering himself on the couch, had a rampaging and consistent headache, and felt dizzy throughout the day.

When Matt came home that day, he saw Louis cocooned in the couch and started peppering kisses on his forehead, asking if he was all right. Louis just grunted in response and turned around. Matt saw a glass of water on the table and asked, “Why is there a half-empty glass of water on the table?” And, yeah, maybe that was when Louis should’ve noticed something was wrong with Matt.

When the month ended a week later, the vomiting, the headaches, and the dizziness (which caused him to faint lightly twice that week) wouldn’t stop, but instead intensified. Louis also found himself getting irritated more easily, and craving all sorts of junk food (“ _It’s just one pack of Doritos, and the mayonnaise enhances the flavor_ ”, “ _You’re getting weird, Lou_ ”).

About two days later, Matt decided Louis should go to the doctor and have a check-up when he found Louis vomiting relentlessly after waiting an hour and a half for him to go to their bed. Louis insisted he didn’t need to go to the doctor, that he was fine, but started crying out of nowhere. Matt just held him close, whispering sweet nothings in his ear and murmuring, “Oh, baby, something’s really wrong with you, don’t worry, we’ll fix you,” and, yeah, maybe that’s when Louis should’ve noticed something was wrong with Matt.

Three days later, Louis was anxiously sitting in the waiting room, tapping his feet and shaking his leg. Matt would often put a calming hand on his leg, but Louis paid it no mind. The dreadful “Louis Tomlinson?” was thrown in the air, and not thirty minutes in, Louis was curled up in a ball, crying and hyperventilating harshly after having some blood and urine tests. Matt, on the other hand, sat still, unmoving, as if still not processing the news (“ _You should feel lucky, Mr. Tomlinson, only about three percent of males can get pregnant_ ”, “ _Lucky? You call this lucky?_ ”).

After that, well, he should’ve noticed all of the red flags. Matt seemed more distant (red flag). He was coming home later than usual (red flag), and he didn’t touch him as often (red flag). He rolled his eyes and closed his fists tightly every time Louis complained about a pregnancy thing (red flag); he wanted nothing to do with Louis’s first visit to the obstetrician/gynecologist when he was eight weeks along, didn’t even ask or worry about it (red flag); moreover, he had on a disgusted scowl on his face when Louis put his hands on his stomach (“ _Do you think I’m getting too fat?_ ” “ _You can see the numbers yourself, right?_ ”). And, yeah, maybe that’s when Louis should’ve noticed something was wrong with Matt.

So really, it shouldn’t have been a surprise when he woke up today, three months pregnant, and there wasn’t a body beside him; his bedroom was lacking of half of the clothes in the closet and personal things on the bureau. And yet, it was.

And that’s how he found himself sitting alone in a crappy table in an unknown yet homey café about two blocks away from his flat. It had taken him quite some time to get here (the traffic was just beginning to pick up, people hurriedly trying to make it on time to work, and Louis was in no rush) but it was worth it when the comforting scent of grounded coffee and warm pastries hit his nostrils. He briefly wondered why he’d never seen this place before but then figured it must have been a hole-in-the-wall, well received kind of place. He took a seat at a table in one of the corners, trying to stay unnoticed to the other two customers and the perky blonde barista who was either on drugs or had a great shag because who was that fucking perky at seven in the morning?

As soon as Louis sat down, he couldn’t help but wonder when and why things went wrong in his relationship with Matt and wondered if his leaving was a punishment of some sort. He briefly thought back to the days when everything was simple and easy; the days when he’d wake up to his mum poking him harshly, telling him he had twenty minutes to get ready for school. The days when he’d run quickly down the stairs, grabbing a piece of toast and planting kisses on all of his sister’s heads before trying to catch the bus but end up walking all the way. The days when his only responsibility was to wake up early and look over his sisters from three to five in the afternoon and do his homework, the days when he was just a kid with small responsibilities. The days when he was just a kid.

He bit his lip and stared at the wall in front of him. That moment, that Thursday at 7:11am was when it hit Louis that he was a three months pregnant _guy_ (which was a frowned-upon and complicated dilemma itself) with no job, who definitely didn’t have enough money to pay all of his pregnancy things he soon had to start getting, and worst of all, would have to deal with all of this alone because the guy he thought loved him left him when things got too difficult. 

He just didn’t know what to do; he was just so lost. Louis felt the familiar suffocating feeling creeping up along with a strange wetness behind his eyes, and soon after he let out a loud, heart-wrenching sob, raising his hand to cover his mouth as more automatically spilled. Soon enough he was crying hysterically, placing his hand upon his lips to try and stifle the hopefully silent gasps and hiccups. 

Just as he laid his head in his crossed arms on the table, he sensed someone sit in the chair across from him. He decided to ignore it for a while, thinking that maybe he was being paranoid or imagining things. But he certainly paid attention when he heard a smooth, deep, masculine voice asking him “Excuse my forwardness, but can you tell me why a boy as beautiful as you is crying?”

Louis’s head quickly snapped up in shock at the comment, cheeks flushing fiercely. The guy in front of him had to be the definition of perfection. He had seemingly windswept brown hair that curled up at the ends, a chiseled jaw line, mesmerizing green eyes and was possibly the definition of handsome. He opened his mouth to say something, _anything_ , but found his mouth dry and suddenly unable to form words. He lowers his eyes to the table, still sniffing and tears trailing down his cheeks, trying to prevent such a perfect guy see him in such an awful state. He felt a tugging on his right hand and lifted his head enough to see the guy take it. Louis stared at him but the other lad just smiled, intertwining his fingers with his own. 

The warmth of his hand and seeing it dwarf his own was too much for Louis and he started crying heavily once more, his chest heaving almost painfully and his grip on the stranger’s hand changing from loose to tight, seeming as if his life depended on it. The guy ran his thumb comfortingly over Louis’s in a comforting manner while murmuring sweetly, ”let it all out love”.

After a minute or so Louis finally calmed down enough to be able to talk properly. He looked around the café for a tissue and saw the lad handing him one. He took it with a small, almost unnoticeable smile and wiped away his tears while trying to hide him blowing his nose (he was utterly embarrassed to be seen like this; if a cute guy was going to talk to him, the least he could do is make himself look presentable). Louis looked into the guy’s genuine eyes and smiled appreciatively.

“Thank you for sitting there while I cried like a bloody idiot”.

The guy immediately shook his head and said “No. The one who made you cry is the bloody idiot.”

Louis just stared at him, shocked at how genuinely sweet he was being- and to someone he didn’t even know.

”I’m Harry by the way, what’s your name?” He asked Louis who couldn’t help but notice that his fingers were still tangled with Harry’s.

"Louis." He meekly responded.

"Louis," Harry breathed out, testing the feel of the name on his tongue, "I sorta have to get back to work,"  _ah, so he’s a barista here_ , “but will you please come back? I’d love to see you again, and meet you properly.”

"This doesn’t count as properly?" 

Harry shook his head, to which Louis simply hummed in response. Harry stood up, letting Louis see just how tall and lean and gangly and broad-shouldered and _strong_ and _defined_ and _gorgeous_ he was, and quirked his eyebrow. Louis scrunched his own in confusion until he remembered he hadn’t answered Harry. “Uh- yeah, yeah, I have no plans tomorrow.”

Harry smiled. “Good. See you then.” He brought Louis’s hand to his lips to kiss the soft skin there before letting it go and resuming his post behind the counter with a final, quiet goodbye.

Louis kept staring at his hand for about five minutes before he realized how idiotic he seemed and left the shop, sending Harry a shy smile as a confirmation that he was serious. The cool air hit him hard as he stepped out and gave him a dizzy spell. He put his index and middle fingers on both his temples and massaged them to try and lower the damage. While he walked back to his flat a woman accidentally hit him with a huge shopping bag. Louis immediately started yelling at her for her carelessness, his arms curling protectively around his barely-there tummy. She looked at him weirdly as he continued until he noticed how much of a deal he was making of it and apologized profusely, even crying as he did so. She just shook her head at this and walked away, muttering insults at him. He growled at her from the distance before cursing his mood swings and overall bad luck.

When he entered his flat he tried to ignore just how big and cold it felt and settled down on his bed after grabbing a banana yogurt from the fridge. He ate it slowly and looked around their - _his_ \- room trying to guess what things were missing but found it a hard task.

When Louis fell asleep, empty plastic cup in one hand and limbs spread out on the bed, he couldn’t help but dream of a green eyed barista who was too nice for his own good. And of bananas, really.

++

The little bell at the top of the door rang softly as he pushed the door open, signaling his arrival at the café. It must’ve been new since it wasn’t there yesterday (or maybe it was and he just didn’t notice). He found the warmth of the place already too familiar, too comforting, and that worried him. Louis began to regret wearing a sweater and skinny jeans that felt the slightest bit tight because the heat felt suffocating. But he wanted to look good enough for Harry to make him look twice; not that he’d ever admit it. He inconspicuously breathed into his hand to check his breath to make sure it didn’t smell bad- he brushed his teeth after puking the life out of him this morning and once before he left the house but can’t be too sure- before making his way to the table he sat at yesterday. As he was passing by he couldn’t help but search for Harry but could only see the same perky blonde from before. He frowned slightly but wasn’t completely off put- last time he didn’t see Harry either.

To distract himself he took out a book he’d wanted to read for a long time, _1984_ by George Orwell, and started it. He was about seven pages in when Harry noticed he was there and exclaimed a loud “Louis!” that certainly made everyone in the café (and by everyone, he meant three people) look his way. A blush flared up on Louis’ cheeks and he offered a small wave and a tight lipped smile to Harry. He grinned, dimples -he has fucking dimples, he was going to be the death of him- showing and quickly made his way over, flinging a beat-up rag (how cliché) over his shoulder. 

"Hey, you actually came!" Harry said, actually surprised.

"Well I said I’d come, didn’t I?" Louis responds calmly before adding on in a much harsher tone "Why? Did you think I’d lie to you? You think I’m a liar or that I’m horrible?"

Harry’s eyes widened at the outburst and started stammering out a refusal mixed with an apology but Louis cut him off with apologetic eyes. “I’m sorry, I’ve just been a bit… _moody_ , lately, I guess.”

Harry sighed in relief, scared he had offended the blue-eyed beauty and smiled at him once more.

“It’s alright, love.”

Louis smiled and nodded, biting his lower lip. A silence fell upon them but surprisingly it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. They stayed like that for a while until Harry broke it by asking, “so tell me about yourself.”

And that’s how it all started.

++

After that first official meeting, Louis started stopping by the café at least once a day for the past month. He’s gotten to know Harry extremely well now; from his childhood to what hair products he used and Harry had gotten to know Louis a little better. He didn’t divulge more information than what he thought was okay to tell.

_"So tell me about yourself."_

_"Well, my name’s Louis Tomlinson. I’m twenty years old; studying drama online, have four younger sisters, and my favorite color’s red. That’s it."_

_"That’s it?"_

_"That’s it."_

They had become really close; close enough to banter flirtatiously (although Louis never got his hopes up; he knew that if Harry knew he was pregnant, he’d lose interest). Niall; the way too peppy barista was almost always with them, chattering animatedly with his loud, easygoing voice and personality. Harry’s shift was from seven in the morning ‘till four in the afternoon, and Louis was there from seven to three fifty-five; he always left five minutes early because he didn’t want Harry to follow him and chat him up, or ask him any personal questions that he knew he wouldn’t have an answer for (Harry always refrained from doing so at work because there were “many” strangers about, and he knew that Louis wasn’t a person to easily open up to just anybody). After visiting Hthe café he’d just go straight home. He alternated between watching whatever was on on the telly to sometimes taking short walks in the park and visiting the supermarket from time to time (food was just… disappearing quickly) . And sometimes, he might make a prank call or two.

As for the pregnancy, on the personal aspect, Louis was dealing with his situation; he was dealing with the fact that he’d have to be alone during all of this. He had called Matt’s cell numerous times, always leaving a message, after one day it said that the number had been disconnected. He wanted to call his mother but knew how paranoid and freaked she’d be, so he decided to put that off for a moment. He pondered on whether to tell Harry or not but decided against that; he didn’t want to drive away the only thing that was making him smile these days.

So he decided to just deal with it. Or, sort of. Economically speaking, he was struggling a bit and was still looking for a job. He knew living off the money in his bank account wouldn’t be an option forever. Finding a job was difficult because the last time he held one was when he was in high school (Matt said he wanted to be able to come home to Louis every day but look at how that’s turned out) and the jobs nearest to him were just _wrong_ ; whether it was because he had no experience in the field that needed employees or it was too far or too hard or Louis just didn’t like it. The only good thing was that, so far, he didn’t have any pregnancy-related bills to add up to the stress.

There was also the whole physical aspect of the pregnancy. This aspect, however, was one that he found himself fighting with avidly. He woke up almost every single day puking yet desiring the most outrageous foods; and sometimes he’d feel completely refreshed, but most days he’d just be so freaking tired he just wanted to stay in bed forever. There’s also the frequent headaches and dizzy spells; something probably a result of him having to wear his spare set of glasses every day due to the prescription in his contacts no longer working. And the pain’s just too much for a simple Advil to cure.

The thing that eased the frustration a bit was that he wasn’t showing much. Now he notices his stomach is distended the slightest bit more than usual, but thankfully, it’s only visible under tight shirts; a reason why he almost always wore sweaters as of late. He didn’t dare to check how much he weighs now, and is starting to constantly feel some sort of fluttering on his belly- different from the ones he usually feels when around Harry, so it must have something to do with the baby growing inside of him. He wondered sometimes if it was supposed to be like that, but couldn’t know for sure. There were many things he was curious about this whole pregnancy thing but he refused to go to an obstetrician/gynecologist. He knew from his mother’s experience that he’s missed about one visit or so (which was, apparently, one of the most important) but couldn’t bring himself to do it. After his first visit he just felt so ashamed and disgusted with himself, he didn’t think he could face that again. But, of course, the world has taken some toll against him and loves to watch him squirm and wallow in self-hatred.

Louis was getting ready to go to the café (as always), sixteen weeks (four months) along, when he had to stop dressing to go to the bathroom and kneel on the floor, his hands holding onto the toilet as he threw up. This was a normal occurrence, but today he felt in even more pain than usually. When he was finally done, his throat felt a bit worse than usual and he felt a sort of dull, but very noticeable pain in his belly. He was about to flush it away when he saw in the toilet bowl something he definitely did not expect- _blood_.

He immediately started to panic. Was that normal? Was that supposed to happen? Was something wrong? But, most importantly, was the baby okay?

His eyes widened and his arms curled protectively on his belly. He may be ashamed and disgusted with _himself_ because of the circumstances (he was a pregnant guy, after all), but he was anything _but_ ashamed and disgusted with his baby, and he’ll be damned if anything happens to it.

Louis quickly stood up from kneeling on the tiled floor and brushed his teeth as fast as he could, just long enough to get rid of the acidic taste in his mouth and only manages to get his head stuck in an arm hole as he’s getting dressed once. It’s not like he didn’t know where it was, he just didn’t have the time to check. In such a rush, he skipped out on grabbing breakfast and picked up the keys to a car he hasn’t used in almost a year. 

The elevator lift was awful, the walk towards his car hurtful, and the car ride over just plain agonizing. He had to stop a few times to regain his never-lost breath and find the strength to not turn around and keep going forward. He knew this was something that had to be done sooner or later, but he had always thought later would be… much, much later. 

When he stopped his car at his destination, he saw the sign that he wanted to avoid for as long as possible: Women’s Center.

++

"You do know that you were supposed to visit me when you were twelve weeks along, right?" Was the first thing Kayleigh, the OBGYN, said when she saw Louis walk in the room.

Louis was immediately let in when he entered the center because the secretary recognized him (it was the same place he went for his eighth week check-up; Kayleigh was a family friend) and because he said it was urgent. They checked his urine, blood pressure and weight (thirteen freaking pounds, dear god, this was going to be the death of him) before directing him to the room where the doctor was. 

"I know, I know," Louis sighed and looked down like a scorned child, "but I’m here now, does that count for anything?"

Kayleigh glared at him and sat down, still looking straight at him. “I don’t think you understand the seriousness of your case, Louis. You’re a pregnant male; that itself complicates this entire process by a lot.”

Louis nodded, “I know, I’m sorry, I-“

Kayleigh cut him off, “it’s alright, it’s understandable. It happened, so let’s just move on.” She sighed deeply before raising her hand. “Stand up and take your shirt off.”

Louis quirked an eyebrow, “excuse me?”

"I have to measure your abdomen," she explained sweetly, smiling at Louis. He briefly wondered if she was pregnant as well because her mood was all over the place, even worse than his own.

Louis nevertheless obliged and stood up. He took off his shirt and hissed slightly at the sudden coldness from the measuring tape the doctor put immediately around his belly. He glanced down at it and was genuinely surprised; he saw what he thought was a small bump to be much more. He realized he hasn’t _really_ looked at it before, only what was visible when pressed against a sweater, and the sight was a bit overwhelming.

 

He immediately brought his hands to his mouth as tears brimmed his eyes at the sight. The doctor removed the tape and comfortingly put her hand on Louis’s shoulder, looking at him meaningfully. She took notes of the measurements (which she refused to give Louis until his fifth visit) and sat down again, urging Louis to do so as well. He took his seat in front of her and suddenly felt queasy and out of place, so he played with his feet to distract himself. He could feel Kayleigh’s eyes burning holes into him but he ignored it, humming to himself to ease the tension.

She finally sighed and asked, “Now, why was your visit today stated as urgent?”

Louis suddenly looked up at her and his eyes widened, remembering why he was here. Then, out of nowhere, he started panicking, his blood and heart pressure surely increasing by the second. He was hysterical, even on the verge of hyperventilating. The doctor immediately stood up and went to him, running her hand up and down his back in a soothing manner and helped him take deep breaths. Soon enough he was copying her movements and calming down, his heartbeat slowing down to a normal, rhythmic thudding. He exhaled harshly one last time before looking up at her gratefully. She just smiled and gave a sort of “just doing my job” pat on the back before giving him a once-over, “okay now?”

Louis nodded and licked his dry lips, “I-I’m here because I, uh, I threw up blood this morning.”

She nodded and clicked her pen on and started scribbling on her notepad (how cliché), “was there a lot of blood or?”

Louis shook his head, “no, no, it was just enough for me to notice it.”

She took her glasses off (how cliché as well) and stared at him incredulously, “are you telling me you came to bother me at,” she checked her watch, “eight forty-one in the morning because of some little blood?”

Louis’s eyes widened and his jaw fell a bit, suddenly confused at all of this. “What-“

"Louis, Louis, Lou," she interrupted sweetly, "puking blood, pregnant or not, isn’t exactly uncommon, especially with the frequency with which you’re vomiting nowadays." Louis was still confused so she added, "it’s probably just that you tore your esophagus up a bit from all the throwing up. Nothing serious, babe."

Louis visibly relaxed, his shoulders sagging a bit at the unwinding. He was so freaking worried, and to be informed that it was nothing was extremely relieving. Kayleigh laughed at him and said, “You really don’t know anything about what to expect with the pregnancy, right?”

Louis bit his lip and shook his head. The doctor smirked (what the hell happened to conventional doctors, ones who didn’t have a “I told you so” or “I knew it” complex) and said, “Well, that’s what happens when you miss what should’ve been a mandatory visit.”

Louis glares at her and sighs, “I already said I’m sorry. Can we just get this over with?”

Kayleigh sighed as well, “alright, alright.” She gets up and goes to a cabinet and takes a specific file, opening it to check its contents before sitting again once more. She read it for a while before starting, “I’d ask you how you’re doing both physically and emotionally with the whole pregnancy thing but I’m sure I know, and I also don’t care.”

Louis frowned at her but she continued before he could protest, “so I’ll continue on telling you what to expect this week, and things you should know about the weeks before your next visit- which is when you’re twenty-two weeks along.”

He quickly did the math in his head and marked the date six weeks ahead in his head to make sure not to plan anything. The doctor smiled at him, “glad to see you’re finally taking this seriously.”

"I took this seriously from the start," he quickly retorted.

The doctor looked at him with disbelief before muttering a “sure, of course,” as she kept reading the file on her hands. “According to the notes here -this is the file of Brandon Thompson, man who gave birth six years ago- your pregnancy should be almost exactly like a woman’s. Only some minor differences.”

Louis nodded, “what are these differences?”

"The symptoms will be longer lasting and harsher, which explains why you still have daily morning sickness, you’ll give birth about a month later, your belly will grow slightly smaller (at least, that’s what we expect), and the delivery should be, of course, much riskier yet less painful," she said, a smile still adorning her lips. 

He looked at her strangely before asking, “and these few weeks before our next appointment? What should I be expecting out of… this?”

She looked at him and noticed his fearful eyes, “are you afraid, Mr. Tomlinson?”

Louis’s eyes widened, “what? No. I just- I want to be aware, you know? Not have anything surprise me, like everything has done these last sixteen weeks.”

The doctor nodded in understanding and with only a slightly snarky remark of “if you’d gone when you were twelve weeks along you wouldn’t be so surprised” under her breath she said, “okay, so, these weeks you’ll be experiencing sort of strange things (during the entire pregnancy you’ll be experiencing strange things but). For example, vivid dreams.”

"Vivid dreams?" Louis said before embarrassingly asking, "like, erm, wet dreams?"

Kayleigh chuckled and nodded, “yeah, could be. Sometimes they’re just plainly weird dreams, most of them having something to do with animals. Or, like many have experienced, you could dream about your lover.”

"Lover?" 

The doctor nodded, “yes. Some people say that you can have dreams about the one you love, sometimes hooking up with someone other than yourself. Maybe an old flame of theirs?”

Louis started dreading those dreams right there and then, because he didn’t know what to expect. Would those dreams be of Matt? Louis shuddered at the thought; he didn’t think he could bear to even dream of him. As time went on he started growing some sort of resentment towards the former lover; how could he leave him in such hard times? Really, who does that?

Kayleigh saw him pondering deeply so she thought it best to interrupt his train of thought, “alright, love, don’t dwell on this. You may not even dream anything, so don’t worry.”

With a comforting pat on the knee she continued, “besides the dreams you can expect an insatiable hunger (try remembering that throughout your entire pregnancy you’re supposed to gain between twenty-five to thirty-five pounds; you’ve already gained thirteen, choose the others wisely), you’ll probably get some sort of dark spots on your skin but it’s completely normal, you can start showing stretch marks and varicose veins, and your sleep will be off.”

She stood up and went to a shelf that was lined with plastic bottles of various sizes and colors. The one the pulled from the second shelf and handed to Louis was a translucent orange with a white cap placed on top. “These are safe to consume during pregnancy, along with Tylenol, and, believe me, you’ll need them- especially towards the twentieth week. When I said your sleep will be off, I was serious; you’ll start snoring (if you don’t already, which I think you don’t because you seem like a princess), you’ll be prone to more heartburn and indigestion, leg cramps will be common, level of exhaustion will be so high you may be restless and can’t find sleep, you’ll toss and turn and- oh! You’ll be all hot and sweaty, like an animal in heat.”

Louis’s eyes widened at all of this and corrected his thoughts from earlier- yes, his life can get worse. “Are these miracle pills, then? Do they help with everything you just mentioned?”

She looked at him and shook her head. ”Nope. I don’t know what they help with to be honest. I just know they help.”

Louis looked at the pills and then at her incredulously. “How the hell did you ever get your diploma and license?”

She shrugged. “I’m a nice person.”

Louis just stared at her before crossing his arms over his chest and scoffing. “Well then. Are we done here?”

The doctor frowned and walked towards him, his shirt in hand, grabbing his wrist and leading him to another room. “No, now comes the best part: ultrasound and sonogram!”

He gulped at her enthusiasm and the last phrase but followed behind her. They entered a room that was completely bare, only the chair and machine in it. Louis took a seat in the odd shaped chair and laid down on his back, feeling the white, thin paper crinkle under his weight as he gets settled. Louis could hear the doctor’s chuckles as he did so, and he found himself wondering for the second time that day where were all the conventional, normal doctors? She turned the machine on and sat on a wheel-y chair with no back. The doctor takes out a tube of transparent light blue gel and squeezes a hefty glob of it onto a wand attached to the machine. 

Fair warning, this is going to be cold.” The doctor warns before lowering the wand to Louis’ stomach to spread the gel around.

Louis reflexively flinched away from the cold before bitterly mumbling “You don’t say.” Kayleigh just smiled and grabbed what looked like one of those little scanners cashiers used to scan things that couldn’t be hovered over (apparently they were called transducers or probes, but he couldn’t be bothered with it; it always has been, and always will be, a scanner). She started humming as she pressed the tip on Louis’s belly, rolling it all over it, searching for the image she needed. Not much time passed before he could hear the steady thump of a heartbeat through the monitors. He quickly turned his head and saw the image on the machine’s screen; it was a grainy, blurry, unintelligible, black and white picture yet he found himself crying at the sight because _damn it that’s his baby_.

"It’s healthy," the doctor said, "right now it’s like the size of an avocado; about four inches long and should be weighing approximately three to three and a half ounces. These next few weeks it’ll reach a growth spurt, so expect your belly to grow a lot. And prepare yourself because you might start feeling it soon- if you don’t already."

Louis felt overwhelmed at the sight and the information so he just cried for some time. The doctor let him, knowing this was normal. He found himself wanting for someone to be with him right now; it didn’t feel right for him to be alone, to be the only one to experience this, but life’s not always how one wants it to be. Instead of dwelling on this he asked, “Is the fluttering from the baby? Like, I feel sometimes this fluttering, this ticklish feeling at the bottom of my tummy… is it from the baby?”

The doctor actually squealed and nodded.

“Yes, it is! It’s adorable, right?”

She smiled for a moment before adding. “Also, around the eighteenth or nineteenth week, it’s said that the baby can hear you. So talk to it as much as you can, so it can start recognizing its mommy’s voice.”

He bit his lip to stop a watery smile from forming before realizing something she said. “Hey! I’m not a girl!”

Kayleigh gave him, for what should be the fourth or fifth time in the entire visit, a look filled with disbelief before muttering, “could’ve fooled me” as she clicked something and cleaned the gel off of his belly. He giggled softly at the feeling and started sitting up, grabbing his shirt from the side of the chair and putting it on. When he finally put it on correctly, he saw a picture in front of his face. He looked at the doctor questioningly before turning it around. It was a picture of the sonogram, a picture of his baby. He started crying a bit once more before kissing the picture and running his fingers slightly over it.  Louis stayed still for a moment, his quiet sniffs the only sound being heard in the room as he stared at the picture in his hands. 

“Do you know the sex of the baby?”

She shook her head. “No, sorry, I can’t tell this early. In our next visit I’ll probably be able to tell. About eighty-eight percent of males give birth to a boy, so yours will most likely be a boy too.”

Louis immediately perked up and beamed at her. A boy… he was having a boy. It wasn’t sure, of course, but it was most likely! He always wanted a boy… and so did Matt.

His mood dampened a bit at the thought, so he saved the picture in his wallet quickly and stood up. He sniffed slightly as he hugged Kayleigh tightly, whispering a soft “thank you”. She patted his back and pushed him away a bit, giving the man another kind, encouraging smile. 

“No problem, babe. See you in six weeks! The fifteenth!”

He waved at her goodbye and walked out, only stopping to pay for his visit before leaving the center, going to his car and driving to his cold, lonely flat; a glimmer of hope and happiness coursing in his eyes, veins and belly.

++

"Where have you been? What happened yesterday? Why didn’t you come here? Are you alright?"

He was immediately bombarded with questions as he entered the café at around two in the afternoon the next day, a strong, warm body pressed against his tightly in a hug. Louis melted in the warmth and boldly nuzzled his head in the crook of Harry’s neck. ” ‘M sorry, love, I felt sick yesterday, so I stayed home. Should’ve at least stopped by to let you know.”

Harry kissed the top of his head as he traced circles softly on his lower back, “It’s alright, Boo. I was just worried, I guess.”

"You guess? You _guess_?” Niall yelled incredulously from the back of the shop, “you were bloody crazy yesterday! Walking all over the shop, ignoring customers, crestfallen the entire day. You were bloody bothersome throughout your shift, I almost killed you.”

Harry stepped back from Louis a little and blushed at the accusation, looking down, muttering a “shut up” at Niall. Louis bit his lip to stop a grin from appearing on his face.

"Don’t worry," Louis said, "I missed you as well. A lot, actually."

At that Harry smiled hugely, the dimples at the corner of his lips more prominent, his eyes beaming. Louis had to look away for a moment because he felt overwhelmed- and just by a _smile_ , dear God, he’s going to lose his mind before reaching the age of forty-one. Maybe it was the hormones. Yes, the hormones; one of the good things about being pregnant is that one can always, always, blame it on the hormones. Even if it has nothing to do with it, no one will know (uncultured and ignorant idiots, not unlike Louis).

Louis shyly smiled back at him before walking to the counter, plopping himself over it, his feet dangling a good two to three feet from the floor (curse his shortness). He turned around to face the back (which was where Niall was). “What’s cooking, good lookin’?” He jokingly asked Niall, who was crouching to grab a tray from the oven, chuckling softly.

The blonde growled at him, grumbling something like “I ain’t got time for no Doncaster princess to be chatting me up, ‘m burning my goddamn hands with this goddamn cookie tray goddamn it” as he stood up, throwing the hot tray unto the counter next to Louis. He instinctively jumped back at the sudden movement, his hands immediately going to cover his stomach, almost falling over if it hadn’t been for Harry’s cautious and securing hands on his hips holding him. Louis blushed and, with Harry’s help, sat correctly once more. He thanked Harry silently, to which the green-eyed beauty answered “my pleasure, Boo,” before scolding Niall for his carelessness ( _"you could’ve burned Louis, Ni!”_ _"If it were anyone else on that counter you’d be laughing your ass of, mate"_ ).

Louis blushed once more (damn hormones) and got off the counter, interrupting the two bickering idiots. “Hey, so, I’m going to sit in my usual spot. Could one of you please bring me my tea, when it’s done of course? Thank you,” he rushed out, walking towards the table at the end (the one he sat in when he first came to the café). He could feel a slight headache forming from their incessant and loud talking and just had to get out.

Once his too-big bum (it’s only gotten bigger by the pregnancy; soon enough he’ll be looking like a white Nikki Minaj from the back) was on the soft, comfortable chair he let out a sigh of content, feeling absolutely at home. The warm aura that seemed to always be present in the shop was comforting, and the mixed scents of various sweets (ranging from doughnuts to mini cheesecakes) just made him crave all sorts of things (last week he scared Niall -Niall, the boy who eats absolutely everything- when he asked for a cupcake with peanut butter, a bit of mayonnaise and slices of banana on the inside). He crossed his ankles and started humming softly the tune to one of his favorite songs just when the smell of spicy citrus and mint hit him, deliciously enveloping him in a woody, ginger embrace that absolutely made him melt. _Harry_.

"Hey, love," Harry greeted, sliding a hot and fresh cup of tea over to Louis, who appreciatively took it in his small hands and sipped. "Hey."

He gave Louis a once over before biting his bottom lip in worry. “Boo, are you sure you’re alright? You look… different.”

Louis’s eyes widened at that and his cheeks flamed, self-consciousness taking over. “W-What do you mean?” He asked, covering his belly with his arms.

Harry suddenly looked alarmed and started shaking his head, “no, no! I didn’t mean it in a bad way! You are absolutely glowing, Lou.”

Louis blushed, this time just flustered by Harry’s comment, smiling shyly while mumbling a “thanks”.

"You don’t get that a lot, do you?" Harry questioned him, a bit incredulous, a bit offended, as if it hurt him the fact that Louis didn’t receive such compliments. Louis didn’t say anything, just look ahead, pretending to miss the murmured "well, you should" from the gorgeous human being in front of him.

A short silence came over them, but it was soon interrupted by them laughing at hearing Niall curse fluently and loud at dropping something. Harry laughed for a moment but stopped when he heard Louis giggle, wanting to hear the boy’s soft laughter- one he hasn’t heard much. As soon as Louis noticed Harry was looking he blushed (if a vampire wanted to suck anybody’s blood, he’d immediately stick his fangs in Louis, since he’s been providing easier access to it lately (damn you Harry)) and stopped.

After that they seamlessly fell into conversation, both flirting almost as if by nature, not seeming to grasp the difference between a normal conversation and a flirty one. Harry was working his turn as well, attending clients and talking to Louis as he passed by, or sitting down when he finished. Harry was midway through a friend’s story when the cafe’s shop bell rang. He looked up and told Louis he’d “be right back” and served the client. Louis watched at his clock and noticed that it was already three fifty-four in the afternoon. His eyes widened and he quickly stood up, shouting a “goodbye” to Niall (to which he received an insult from; well then) and squeezing Harry’s shoulder softly before stepping out into the cold, brittle area.

He was only a good five or six feet away when he heard a desperate deep voice screaming “wait! Lou, wait!” Louis turned around and was surprised to meet Harry jogging towards him.

"Doesn’t your shift end in five minutes?"

Harry nodded. “Yes, it does, but I came in five minutes earlier today so I could leave just when you do.”

Louis’s eyes widened. “Oh. Okay,” he said, “what’s up?”

Harry bit the inside of his cheek nervously before asking, “would you like to go out with me sometime?”

Louis couldn’t have heard right, he just couldn’t have. Did Harry, Harry Styles, the definition of perfection, the barista at an amazing and cute café, the guy he’s been shamelessly gawking at for the past month, ask him out? “Are you serious?”

Harry squinted his eyes at Louis, wondering why the beautiful boy was so disbelieving. “Yes.”

At that word Louis just wanted to run and tell all of the bypassing gents and ladies that Harry Edward Styles asked him out on a date, maybe annoying that lovely old woman scowling at the birds until she threw pieces of stale bread at him and-

At the thought of something hitting him, even something as small as bread, he instantly recoiled a bit, his arms coming to cover his belly once more. That’s when he remembered, and he simply couldn’t just agree to go on a date. He liked Harry, and maybe the green-eyed beauty liked him back, but he was sure going to leave the minute he found out he was pregnant. And Louis didn’t think he could bear two people leaving him in such a short time span.

"Haz, I don’t think it’s such-"

When he uttered those words, not even finishing, he could see Harry’s beautifully glimmering, hopeful eyes filling with sadness and his entire demeanor changing for the worse, his shoulders even slumping in defeat and, perhaps, disappointment. The shorter lad couldn’t bear to see such a magnificent creature so down, so he finished, “an impossibility.”

Harry’s eyes widened a bit once more, that hopeful glint that was there before coming back. “Is that a yes?”

Louis let out a small, almost imperceptible sigh. He was going to regret this. “But don’t call it a date! It’s more of a… hang out, yeah? Just two friends hanging out.”

Harry’s grin never left his face as he repeated, “Is that a yes?”

Yep. He surely was going to regret this. “Yes.”

++

"The park?"

Harry bit his bottom lip shyly and nodded. “Yeah. I know it’s not exactly creative, but at night it’s especially beautiful.”

Louis hummed in agreement and looked around. After Louis agreed to go on a date with him (“ _yes, but don’t forget it’s not a date!_ ” “ _I can change your mind_ ”), they exchanged phone numbers and Harry promised he’d pick him up at six. Louis tried to remain cool, calm and collected, but he screamed and jumped (well, not jump, more like flopped backward on the bed and bounced on it softly, careful of his belly) about how Harry Styles wanted to take him out, and about how Harry Styles was going to take him out, and about how he just wanted ice cream with a jelly sandwich.

Harry had picked him up right on time, and was looking spectacular (but, really, when is he not?). He had on a white, low v-neck shirt that showed some of his tattoos (tattoos, fucking tattoos; Louis was going to go insane before he reached thirty-seven), impossibly skinny black jeans and worn-out boots. Louis was speechless at the sight and wondered if his chosen wardrobe was a good decision (a soft dark gray sweater -to keep his belly bulge unnoticeable-, maroon jeans and gray TOMs) but if Harry’s stare was anything to judge by he’d say he did a pretty damn good job.

So now here they were, in the park, Harry being the absolute lovable idiot he is and Louis just wanted to squeeze the adorableness out of him.

Louis smiled hugely at the thought and agreed once more, this time vocally. “Yes, it is. Thank you,” he said before heading out towards the familiar opening to the pond, beckoning Harry to follow him with a tilt of his head.

As he cleared the leaves from the sort-of hidden spot he could feel the nostalgia rising as he glanced at the probably fourteen feet long body of water, all calm and serene. This used to be his relaxation spot, his place to think, to escape, to be free. Free from his life, really. Matt wasn’t exactly a perfect guy- nowhere near that, actually. He could be a bit controlling at times (hence why Louis never got a job, or studied much really), but not extremely. He let Louis sometimes make decisions, but it wasn’t enough. So this was where he escaped and pretended to be the one controlling the way the water ripples ever now and then, and the one deciding when and when not to let a harsh gust of wind suddenly course through the scene, and the one to make the leaves fall when autumn turned to winter, and the one to change the seasons.

"You okay?" Harry sweetly asked him as he saw Louis halt. The smaller lad looked back and gave him a small, watery smile (damn hormones). "Yeah, bub, ‘m fine. I just- this brought some memories."

Louis could remember this lovely, small family of ducks whose mother would quack at him and nuzzle her soft head on his ankle. And he remembered the flock of birds that coincidentally always flew over his head at exactly six-eighteen in the morning. Oh, and who could forget the adorable yet rabid squirrels that squeaked while twitching their small noses and thumping the ground frantically before running away.

"Good memories, I assume?" Harry interrupted his thoughts, looking at him in such a fond manner.

"Mhm," Louis sighed softly, "I used to come here every day, but."

Harry walked in front of him and led him over to the border of the pond, sitting down, “but?”

Louis bit his lip before muttering a quiet “things change” as he sat down next to him, their knees bumping against one another. Harry didn’t press on the subject (something Louis was extremely grateful for) and nodded before taking a bag out of his backpack (since when did he have a backpack?) and handing it to Louis.

He took it confusedly, glancing in it. “Uh, what’s this?”

Harry gave him a dimpled smile. “It’s food.”

"You brought us grounded and massacred food?" Louis asked, taking a handful of the little pieces of "food" (but, really, it looked more like pieces of bones).

Harry chuckled. “No, Boo, for the animals.”

Louis’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

The taller lad nodded a bit nervously. “Yeah. I just thought it’d be something you’d enjoy. If it’s not, we can always-” Louis covered his mouth with his hand to stop him from rambling.

"Haz, I love it. Really. I’m really thankful," he whispered, his gaze falling to the ground at the end only to have it lifted by Harry.

"You’re welcome, Boo," he said, their faces too close, their lips barely an inch apart from each other’s. Louis was looking straight into Harry’s eyes, gleaming jade green eyes meeting streaking grayish blue ones. The eldest’s breath hitched and he found himself frozen. Harry wasn’t making any move towards him; he just sat there, trying to figure out if he should or shouldn’t. But as soon as Louis’s hesitance was visible, almost palpable, he leaned back, quickly standing up and reaching for his hand, kissing it softly like the first day they met. "C’mon, Lou, the ducks are at the other side."

Louis glanced up at him with pure adoration before nodding and taking his hand, squeezing it tighter than normal to let Harry know that he wasn’t hesitant because he didn’t like him that way, but because he wasn’t sure he was ready for that (as stupid as it may seem). Harry squeezed back just as tightly, signaling he understood, but Louis worried about what, exactly, did Harry understand.

They didn’t have to walk much, just barely eight feet, to the other side of the pond. When they reached it, Louis’s first action was to gasp and coo at the sight. A family of ducks - _his_ family of ducks- was just getting out, shaking their tiny bodies to shake the water off their fur. He could feel Harry’s gaze on him but he didn’t care how pathetic it might seem; this was just too cute.

Louis turned around and smiled brightly at Harry, the crinkles by his eyes prominent. He was practically beaming, and Harry’s breath hitched as he thought about how Louis must be the sun, emitting rays of sunshine every time he smiled or touched or did anything, really.

Louis turned his head back at the ducks and saw that they were lining up.  He put his hands on the ground as he carefully crouched down. Harry quickly put his hand on his back, easing his lowering for some unknown reason. The smaller lad felt his heart practically stop. Why had Harry felt the need to do that? Did the taller boy perhaps know or suspect something?

He looked up at him and saw his eyebrows furrowed, thinking deeply. He was clearly confused by his protective instincts as well. Louis felt a bit of relief (things were going so great, why ruin it with something that shouldn’t be, but is, in a way, a burden?) and he put his weigh on his knees. He opened the bag and cupped some of the food. Just when he was about to take it out the mother duck quaked at him and started waddling over.

Louis watched with careful yet hopeful eyes as she neared him. The family stayed behind, as if waiting for some sort of sign for them to approach as well. He could feel Harry kneeling down as well and he felt even more ecstatic, his mind drifting to how similar the scene was, in a way, to something that could be bound to happen in the future when Harry placed a warm hand on his lower back and waited expectantly, so prideful and beautiful for the arrival of the chick.

When the mother (who he lovingly named Glaze a few months back) got to him she immediately nuzzled her tiny head on his thigh, quacking ever so delightfully. Louis couldn’t help the giggle that fell from his lips at the gesture, and if he heard Harry’s breath hitch, well, he assumed it must have been for the cold air of the night. When Glaze was done, she quaked something else and then waddled over to his hands and ate, pecking the food adorably. Louis didn’t stop giggling, his body tingling from the joy he currently felt and that was when Harry realized that, yes, he was right- Louis William Tomlinson is the sun, light so bright and powerful and beautiful that no one could ever be considered worthy of being alongside it, or of enjoying the rays and beams of pure perfection and sheer beauty, for it was too overwhelming for the mortal soul. He wondered briefly for a moment if there was any way he could change into something supernatural, because maybe then he’d be something that’s closer to being deemed worthy.

As he pondered on this the rest of the family of ducks waddled over to him, quaking loudly as they reached him and dug in, their beaks at times clashing against one another as they ate. Harry was truly entranced at the sight and now knew how Louis felt; this was too damn adorable (not like Louis, nothing would ever be like Louis, but still).

Meanwhile the mother had finished her portion and tried to climb up Louis’s thigh. He cupped his hands around her and placed her on top of his thigh, making things easier for the chick. Glaze kept quaking and waddled carefully forward until she rested on top of his crotch. Then, out of nowhere, she started nuzzling her petite head in his belly, as if sensing something. He froze in place and looked at Harry from the corner of his eye but unfroze when he saw that he was too enthralled by the family of ducks. 

Louis felt suddenly sweetly enamored with the taller lad, and his genuine smile and appreciativeness. Louis sighed softly before grabbing Glaze and giving her a peck on top of her head, promising to come back someday as he put her on the floor once more. She waddled over to her family and led them away, all in an adorable line. Louis felt himself getting worked up at the scene and knew he was close to crying (damn hormones) so he stood up carefully and waited for Harry to do the same.

"That had to be one of the best things I’ve ever done," Harry said, noticeably joyful from the fun he had- and just by feeding a family of ducks.

Louis nodded in agreement and let out a soft “yeah” before blurting out: “Can we go get some ice cream?”

Harry looked at him curiously, a wide smile forming on his lips. That smile, _his_ smile, was so special; the kind of smile that could stop wars, and wipe tears, and cure fatal diseases, and stop world hunger, and ride oneself of suicidal thoughts, and create fucking rainbows in the sea, and make it rain glitter. Louis started believing in reincarnation, then, or immortality, because he was completely certain that that smile was the cause of happiness.

While still in adolescent (and girlish) thoughts, he noticed Harry’s beautifully plump rose lips moving, forming words that surely are emitted in a deep, rough, low voice with a soothing, sweet lull. He cursed himself for not paying attention because now he had no idea what Harry was saying, and found himself forced to interrupt him and dumbly ask. “I’m sorry, what?”

Harry stopped talking and smiled once again, only this time a bit more softly, on the verge of endearing. “Don’t worry about it, love,” he replied, “let’s go get ice cream.”

Louis immediately felt bad and tried to insist for Harry to tell him while apologizing but Harry just shushed him and squeezed his hand, as if telling him “no hard feelings”. Louis felt himself get incredibly frustrated at that and had urges to rip his own hair out but willed himself to calm down as he realized he was acting up again, getting a slight headache as a response.

He just let Harry guide him to wherever he wanted to. He just wanted to sit down and _eat_. He was just so hungry (even though he ate about a dozen doughnuts before Harry picked him up; he wasn’t sure if Harry was taking him to a restaurant or not so better safe than sorry) and he wanted nothing more than an ice cream, or a cuppa with biscuits, or a cupcake, or a mini cheesecake, or steak- oh, _god_ , steak drizzled with delightful onion sauce and sautéed shrimps on the side. Or a Panini.

Louis opened his unknowingly-closed eyes and was about to complain about whether it would take much longer or not but refrained from doing so when he saw that they were a blessed four or five yards or so from an ice cream parlor. He practically shrieked in glee at the sight and ran towards it, pushing the door roughly to get in but it wouldn’t budge. Louis groaned in frustration once more and mustered all of his strength to push at the door once more, but he got the same effect. He could hear laughter from inside (probably the workers cleaning up and ready to go, laughing at his misfortune) and felt stupid tears brimming. It couldn’t be, it just _couldn’t_. He was so damn hungry, and the damn ice cream parlor was damningly closed, and he just has the worst damn luck in the damn universe and just- goddamn it.

When Harry reached Louis, the slightly older lad was cursing swiftly under his breath, complaining about how “the world hates him” and how “ice cream is his favorite activity in the entire world”. He chuckled deeply and caught his attention with a fond “love,” pointing at the small sign plastered on the metal doors that said, “pull”.

Louis stared at it for a while, wondering when did someone put it there (most probably during his self-depicting rant because it certainly wasn’t there before) and tried to joke his way out. “I, of course, knew that. I just wanted to make you laugh.”

Harry nodded, a small laugh escaping his lips. “No, of course, I’m sure you did, babe,” he said, pulling the door open, letting Louis enter first.

"Such a gentleman," Louis muttered in what seemed a mocking manner but came out too fond. As soon as he stepped foot in the establishment he could hear the staff laughing quietly at him, the cashier trying to stifle her giggles. He looked down, a bit embarrassed, until Harry reached him and put his arm over his neck a bit possessively but not enough to alarm Louis, offering his support.

Louis snuggled imperceptibly against him, grateful. They walked towards the counter, examining the ice cream flavors available. When Louis had decided what he wanted to eat he made his way to the cashier, wanting to order quickly but saw that she was too distracted… gawking at Harry. Of course.

He calmed down the unnecessary jealousy rising up and cleared his throat, shifting her attention away from Harry and to him. He raised his right eyebrow at her, to which she took no notice and gave him a friendly smile.

"Hi, how can I help you?" She asked nicely, making Louis smile at her friendliness. He was about to answer until he felt a long, lean, warm body line up against his.

"And how can I help you this evening?" The cashier asked Harry with a tinge of seductiveness.

Louis’s small hands closed into tight fists and he wanted nothing more than to bite her, hard, but Harry, ever the mind reader, pressed his body against Louis’s in a way that couldn’t possibly be friendly.

"I’d like a vanilla ice cream with banana slices please," he ordered before asking Louis in a gravely voice, "what about you, doll?"

The way he asked seemed intimate, too intimate, and it made Louis’s mind go blank, resulting in him squeaking out a “same” before shaking his head and adding, “Oh! And strawberry syrup over, and pecans, and whipped cream please!”

She nodded glumly, catching the hint. “That’ll be six dollars.”

Louis’s eyes widened. “Three dollars for a small cup of ice cream? That’s outrageous! Did you make it yourself?”

The cashier scrunched her nose slightly (whether in confusion or annoyance, the world may never know). “What?”

Before Louis could remark once more Harry paid for it and thanked her. He led them to one of the booths, ignoring Louis’s protests (“ _they ripped us off, Haz!_ ” “ _Ice cream is expensive nowadays_ ”).

Soon enough they got their ice cream and joyfully dug in, talking about nothing and everything at the same time.

"Want to hear a joke?" Harry asked him. Louis nodded and imperceptibly leaned in.

The joke was so bad it isn’t even worth repeating or even mentioning, but Louis laughed still because it’s Harry; Harry with the stupid cheesy grin and the undeniable charm.

Louis did genuinely laugh, however, when he took notice of the bit of ice cream on Harry’s chin (how did that even get there?). He giggled, “you have a little ice cream on your chin.”

Harry’s hand (large, massive, probably face-coverer hand) cleaned it off. He suddenly decided to become cheeky and dipped his index finger in his ice cream before poking Louis’s nose.

Harry now chuckled as Louis looked at his nose cross-eyed, trying to get a look at the damage.

Harry took that short time to notice just how soft and pretty Louis was, and how insanely adorable he looked like that. Louis cleaned it off, giggling as he did so, looking straight at Harry as he plastered some strawberry syrup on Harry’s cheek.

His eyes widened and Louis giggled once more, popping a pecan in his mouth.

++

They had just arrived to Louis’s flat, Harry leading him towards the door like a gentleman. “I had a really good time tonight, Lou.”

Louis nodded in agreement. “Yes, the best. Thank you, Haz.”

Harry seemed to know that Louis put way too many meanings into that last part, but didn’t say anything. Harry smiled and said, “Hope this is the first of many” before leaning in. Louis’s breath hitched, waiting for a good night kiss (something he still wasn’t sure he could bear) but gasped in surprise and a tad of adoration when Harry’s soft lips hit his cheek. That’s what he did, a sweet peck on the cheek. No misdirection, no second thoughts; that’s what he planned to do from the start.

Louis smiled for what must have been the umpteenth time that night and grabbed Harry’s wrist with a soft-spoken “wait”. Harry confusedly turned around, asking with an arc of eyebrows (framing hopeful eyes) in a silent question, to which Louis responded, “would you like some tea, perhaps?”

Harry’s eyes widened, as if not ever expecting him to ask him that, and he nodded. “Yeah, sure, I’d love some.”

Louis bit his lip to stop a huge smile from forming and nodded, turning around to unlock and open the door. After he did so, he flicked the light switch on, took off his shoes and headed automatically to the kitchen, murmuring a reassuring “make yourself at home” while he searched for the teapots and tea bags. 

Harry looked around with widened eyes, trying to soak up every single detail. It wasn’t a mansion, but it was extremely spacious. He never would have thought Louis would have the money to afford this kind of flat. If Harry was perfectly honest, it seemed like too big a place for just one person.

"Hey, Lou?"

"Hmm?"

"This certainly seems like a big place for just you alone," Harry said carefully, almost mindlessly, as if expressing his thoughts. He regretted saying that as soon as he heard some clattering in the kitchen and a string of curses flow from Louis’s mouth. "Oh, Lou, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intru-"

"It’s alright," Louis waved him off.

"Do you need help?" Harry worriedly asked, but he could almost sense Louis shaking his head. "Nah, I’m good, thanks Haz."

Harry nodded and sat down on the couch, biting his nails a bit as he kept contemplating the living room while Louis finished the tea. It was rather common, he’d say; a couch with two love seats at the sides, large plasma TV in the front, ottomans in the center with a medium-sized carpet under them… it seemed modern, yes, but if Harry were honest it didn’t scream _Louis_. At all.

Suddenly Louis came in with two cups of tea and waltzed over, going a bit more slowly than normally (though Harry has noticed that Louis has been slowing down ever since he met him), placing one of them in Harry’s waiting hands. Harry smiled and thanked Louis before sipping it, relishing in the heat and warmth of the beverage. 

Louis sat down on one of the love seats and took a sip as well, always looking down. He knew he had to eventually tell him, but he never thought it’d be so soon. Of course, Harry would never push him to tell him but Louis felt the need to. As if he owed Harry the explanation. So he decided to just come out with it: “I wasn’t always alone.”

Harry looked up, startled. He didn’t expect Louis to go into the subject, knowing how he tended to be private and not delve into details of anything that concerned him in any way. “Oh?”

Louis took a shaky breath and continued. “I-I lived here. With my boyfriend. Of four years.”

Harry inhaled deeply because, wow, four years? He wanted to ask what happened but he could sense Louis’s hesitance. “Lou, babe, you don’t have to-“

"We were together for four years," Louis cut him off, "and we started living together after two."

"That seems a bit risky," Harry honestly added. 

Louis gave out what could be interpreted as a bitter laugh, “yeah, it was, but we were so sure. We were so in love, so why not live together?”

Harry hummed in response, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. Then, Louis dropped the bombshell. “He left me a month and a half ago.”

Harry choked on his tea. “Left?”

Louis bit his lip, feeling tears pooling his eyes as he nodded. “Yeah. I woke up one day and he was- he was just gone.”

Then it all suddenly clicked. He met Louis a month and a half ago when the beautiful boy had been crying because of something so inconsolably, so hopelessly… and this was why. “Is that why you-” Harry started, wanting to ask but cut himself off because he already knew the answer. “Oh, Boo, c’mere.”

Louis meekly, almost shyly made his way over to him, his face kept down, not wanting Harry to see him in a moment of weakness and vulnerability so extreme. However, when he started sitting down next to him the taller lad picked him up and placed him on his lap. Louis’s face immediately nuzzled into the crook of his neck and he took deep breaths, using Harry’s scent to calm himself down.

Louis took shaky breaths as he willed himself to not cry; Harry had already seen him one time too many. He mustered all the (probably imaginary) strength he had and lifted his head up, his face only inches from Harry’s, his eyes meeting his own. “I-I’m fine now. I’ve moved on.”

Harry’s face contorted into one of worry. “That’s an awfully quick time to get over someone.”

“Well, it’s not like I had a choice. It was either that, or cry myself to sleep every day wondering how the Hell am I going to deal with all of this alone-.”

“Deal with all what alone?” Harry asked curiously. Louis’s eyes widened a bit as he mentally scolded himself for letting that last bit out. He shook his head and gave Harry a tentative smile, “nothing, it’s- nothing you have to worry about, love.”

With that he stood up and went to the kitchen, taking Harry’s empty cup of tea with him. He started washing it clean when he heard Harry ask, “Louis, your cup is here, would you like me to bring it to you?”

Louis was about to agree until an idea struck him. “How is it?”

“It’s, uh, cold, I guess. And half-full, if you want to drink what’s left.”

Louis bit his lip to stop the smile from appearing. Yeah, Harry was okay. More than okay, Harry was _right_.

++

Louis and Harry went on various dates after that one (though Louis still refuses to call it a date because “ _we’re friends, and we’re going places and spending unserious time together, so it’s only logical to call it ‘hanging out’, love_ ”) and that time together has been undeniably precious for both of them. They’ve gotten noticeably closer, both physically and emotionally, and everyone close to them has noticed; Niall and his boyfriend, Zayn-, who they got to know about two weeks ago and who was too gorgeous to be real- were relentless, having such a friendship with them that they often teased them both seriously and jokingly about their “impure affairs of the heart” (“ _not of the body, Loueh, ‘cause I know you wouldn’t let that bloody hipster tap that after the first date_ ”, “ _Niall!_ ”). Louis didn’t want to admit it, but he was glad Harry asked him out. Sure, it made things much harder now, but he was happy for the time being. And Harry was an absolute gentleman; always opening doors for him and taking his jacket (ever the cliché), and never doing anything unless he was completely sure that Louis was okay with it. They hadn’t even kissed yet, but it didn’t seem like Harry minded (“ _are you sure you’re okay with how this is going? I don’t want to make you feel like you’re trapped_ ”, “ _it’s worth the wait, babe_ ”).

So far, everything was going perfectly. Louis was about to burst with affection and jolly and just plain fondness for the taller lad. Until, of course, it had to rain.

Today was the fifteenth. Which meant it was time for his appointment. He didn’t mind much; on the contrary, he was glad it finally came. He was now completely involved with his baby, and he now had some questions to ask his really unconventional doctor. So that wasn’t the problem; the appointment in itself wasn’t the problem.

The problem was that today was supposed to be one of their “dates”. Harry had told Louis he was dying to go to the carnival with him during the day because “ _it’s less full and we can get on all of the rides!”_ and who was Louis to refuse? However, he didn’t remember at the time what he had for the day, and now he had to formulate some sort of valid excuse he could give Harry without altering him.

Given that the walk from his flat to the café wasn’t long he really didn’t have much time to think, but he was sure something would come to him. Eventually.

His appointment was in about an hour, so he had to hurry up (it took about thirty minutes to get there from where he was). He opened the door and immediately walked over to the counter where Niall currently was, talking on the phone.

“Hey, Niall, is-.” He was asking until Niall rudely interrupted him with an “I’ll be with you in a moment” hand gesture while continuing to talk on the phone. Louis bit his lip to stop himself from shouting profanities at him at such an early hour and crossed his arms over his chest to express his impatience along with patting his foot- that is, until he noticed just how extremely noticeable his belly was with his arms pressed. He quickly dropped them and huffed, his exasperation quite visible, almost palpable he’d say.

After about ten minutes with Niall still being on the phone he got mad. “Niall!” He yelled, making the blonde look up at him wide-eyed as he put his finger on his lips, signaling Louis to shut up.

And that was it.

Louis marched over to the door on the side of the counter and stepped in the employee’s area. He made his way towards Niall, grabbing a cupcake along the way and threw it at his face, hoping that it’d do something, but he just kept on yapping, actually taking some of the frosting off with his fingers and eating it before stepping outside the shop (it’s not like anyone even comes this early). Louis huffed once more before going inside where Harry probably is; baking some of the goods he’d be selling (and no, Louis did not want to think about how bad that sounded in his head).

And, of course, there he was, oh so perfect Harry. With his flour-tainted hair and flour-tainted smock and flour-tainted face and dirty large hands, mixing some batter with his back towards him. His face was scrunched up in concentration, so it was noticeable that he hadn’t noticed Louis entered.

Louis made the best of it and crept towards Harry. When he got sufficiently near him he boldly bit down on his shoulder, making Harry drop his things on the metal counter unexpectedly. He giggled at how Harry did a small jump in fear before turning around and seeing Louis. His wide, fearful eyes slowly became less terrorized and fonder, his mouth shifting into an easygoing smile. “Damn, Lou, you scared the Hell out of me.”

Louis was still giggling, his hand on his mouth to try and stop the sound from emerging. “I’m sorry, but you didn’t notice I was here so I figured I’d make myself noticeable.”

“It’s impossible to make yourself more noticeable than you already are.”

Louis blushed deeply at that, clearing his throat for a bit before murmuring a “yeah”. His gaze was on the floor now as he remembered why he was here. “Harry, I don’t think I can hang out today.”

Harry’s smile quickly turned into a frown, his countenance showing concern. “What, why? If it’s because it’s early, I already made arrangements to work later, to make up for the hours!”

Louis shook his head. “No, no, it’s not because of that! It’s just that I-I, uh, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment.” _Well, it wasn’t a lie_.

Harry was now even more worried. “Why, is everything alright, Lou?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis answered. “It’s just a check-up, yeah. The monthly check-up.”

“Oh,” Harry said, a bit comforted. “Then I’ll come with you, so that you won’t be so alone-.”

“No!” He quickly protested, his hands already shaking in fear from the thought of Harry going with him and finding out. “It’s alright, I can do it by myself.”

Harry shook his head at that. “No, Lou, I know you. If the doctor finds something wrong in you, you’ll be too stubborn to take care of yourself. So I’ll just accompany you and make sure that you’re taken care for.”

Louis was now curious, almost afraid as he asked, “you want to take care of me?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

With that, Louis just sort of crashed emotionally. He started crying painfully hard and loud, his hands covering his face as his chest heaved up and down. Harry immediately was at his side, hugging him tightly to soothe him and let him know that he was there. Louis, contrary to what he did at his flat, let himself get comforted by Harry, melting on him, finally letting himself trust.

(And, unbeknown to him, let himself love.)

“I-I’m sorry, Haz, I’m so so sorry,” Louis said in between hiccups and sobs. “But you c-can’t go, you can’t. You’ll find o-out, and I-I can’t lose you, Haz.”

Harry (and Louis himself) was surprised at that admittance but said nothing, only pulling apart from Louis enough to be able to tear his hands from his face and firmly make Louis look at him. “Boo, what aren’t you telling me?”

Louis could feel his heartbeat quickening in fear because this is it. It’s now, or now (not never, because if he had that option he’d take it). He had to tell Harry now and face his rejection. He didn’t think he was strong enough for this, but he wasn’t strong enough to handle all of this on his own and he’s turned out fine- for the most part, so far. So Louis took deep, calming breaths as he mentally (and falsely) reassured himself that, even if he lost Harry, he’d be okay.

Of course, he knew it was a lie, but it was better than the truth.

“I’m,” Louis took another breath and looked at Harry bravely in the eyes. “I’m pregnant.”


	2. This Is How It Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry this took too long i had writer's block and i feel like this is complete shit but at the same time i'm proud of it??? so idk  
> sorry if it seems a bit rushed (it is) and sorry for it being like 3k or 4k words shorter than the first part, i tried.  
> BUT happy mpreg month! :D 
> 
> (also this part is unbeta'd so sorry for any mistakes, all are mine)

_Louis could feel his heartbeat quickening in fear because this is it. It’s now, or now (not never, because if he had that option he’d take it). He had to tell Harry now and face his rejection. He didn’t think he was strong enough for this, but he wasn’t strong enough to handle all of this on his own and he’s turned out fine- for the most part, so far. So Louis took deep, calming breaths as he mentally (and falsely) reassured himself that, even if he lost Harry, he’d be okay._

_Of course, he knew it was a lie, but it was better than the truth._

_“I’m,” Louis took another breath and looked at Harry bravely in the eyes. “I’m pregnant.”_

\--

Louis held his breath as he waited for a reaction; a smile, a “what?”, a shove. But Harry remained frozen in the spot.

“What?” Harry dumbly asked. _There’s the what_.

“Please don’t make me repeat it again,” he pleaded. Once was enough.

Harry just… stood there. Immobile. As if still processing everything. Louis understood, it’s normal, it’s huge news, but he’s dying here (seriously, he felt seconds away from an aneurism, or a panic attack).

“Harry?” He asked, taking Harry’s hands in his only to have them withdrawn before Louis could even blink. Harry took slow steps backwards, his emerald eyes widened in shock and confusion still. Louis felt tears brim his eyelids as he whispered “no” under his breath.

“Haz, d-don’t leave, please,” Louis pleaded, running up to him before he could reach the door. He tried to place a hand on Harry’s shoulder but had it pushed away.

“What do you expect me to do, Louis?” Harry asked both angry and defeated.

“Nothing, Haz, nothing,” Louis answered brokenly. “J-Just be here with me. Please.”

“I,” Harry started before turning around once more. “I need time to think.”

And with that he left, the once pleasant sound of bells chiming against the crystal door now a grim notice. He left, he left, _he left_ , was all that Louis could think about. The tears were now freely running down his face and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and eat ice cream and die. Well, maybe not die physically, but emotionally -if he hasn’t already, that is.

He thought, he _hoped_ Harry would be different, but of course he had to prove otherwise. Had to prove that there are no good guys, only Matts in disguise (like Matt himself). He let out a heart-clenching, dry sob before breathing in and out deeply to try and calm himself as he straightened his back and walked out of the shop with as much courage and strength as he could muster.

Just a few minutes after he was walking inside the OBGYN’s office. He tried to make the fact that he had been crying unnoticeable but, alas, luck wasn’t on his side.

“Louis, honey, are you okay-.”

“I’m fine, let’s just get this done.” He didn’t even let her finish. The doctor held her hands in surrender, noticing it was a touchy subject.

“Okay, okay,” she comforted. “But be careful not to stress out too much; it’s not good for the baby.”

The baby, right, the baby. Louis had a baby he needed to think about. He had no time to dwell on the Harry subject, even if it pained him. Right now, there were more important things than his love life.

“Yeah, I’ll, uh, I’ll try,” he finished off with a smile he hoped would be convincing but it even felt too fake.

Kayleigh sighed softly and gave him a sympathetic smile whilst putting on gloves. “Let’s get started, then.”

Louis nodded and laid down on the too white, too clean, too lonely chair. He took off his shirt and rested his head on the protruding pillow at the top of the chair. She applied the gel and he hissed- not unlike last time- and ran the scanner across his now noticeable belly.

“Well, your little boy is almost one pound now!”

“L-Little boy?” Louis’s voice trembled and he held his hand against his mouth in awe. He was going to have a little boy. His little boy. He already imagined having him in his arms, cuddling him, blowing raspberries onto his tiny tummy, and suffocating him with kisses and tender care. His maternal side was seriously showing at the moment, he acknowledged with tears already forming at the corner of his eyes.

“Yes, little boy, darling!” Kayleigh said excitedly, as if just as joyful as him about the baby boy. “Right now his eyelids, eyebrows, and lips are becoming more noticeable.” She pointed at a certain part of the screen where it was obvious the boy’s head was, and _my god_ , _he looks absolutely precious_. “Look! If you look closely enough, you’ll even notice that his eyes have formed!”

Louis turned around so fast he almost fell out of the chair but he finally saw him. And, for a moment, it felt like his baby could see… him. He gasped and his eyes widened as his hand immediately went to his stomach, his fingers nimbly running across the sides and suddenly he felt a _click_. A connection with his little one… nothing could ever amount to that feeling, he was sure of it.

“Is he healthy?” He asked as soon as he’d finished fawning over his baby boy.

“So far, so good!” Kayleigh assured him. “His pancreas should be developing steadily at the moment, and he’s currently about… ten inches, I think?”

Louis hummed happily and smiled at her. “Thank you, Kayleigh. For being so sweet.”

“I’m always sweet,” was her immediate response. He didn’t even have a chance to roll his eyes when she added, “want to know what to expect for these few weeks?”

“Bring it on!” Louis’s pumped now. He can do this, he can. He doesn’t need anyone, just his baby, his baby boy. That’s enough for now.

She smiled at him and chuckled. “Okay, good. That’s the spirit!”

After that she went on explaining everything that’s more than likely to happen after the 22 weeks mark. His body hair might grow alarmingly fast, his “head hair” (the doctor told him he sounded like an idiot calling it like that, but he found no other suitable way to divide it) would be thicker. As for skin, she said that he might be developing stretch marks soon- something he’s certainly not excited for-, darker and larger nipples- something he’s certainly excited for, strangely-, and that his skin might discolor in certain areas due to the increased melanin. He found himself panicking at that but she said he shouldn’t worry much because, he quotes, “you’re glowing! It’s a bit improbable that with such healthy-looking skin you’d start discoloring, so chill, please.”

He left her with a kiss on the cheek and a wave goodbye, but she only said “goodbye, soon-to-be Big Foot!” and he, not for the first time, wondered if she was truly stable.

++

That happiness and glow that he felt when at the appointment didn’t disappear; though, if he’s honest, it did diminish a bit when he finally realized it’s been _three weeks_. Three weeks since he last saw or spoke to Harry, and he’s been a tad sad (really, moping around and wallowing in self-pity) ever since. He’s not sure how or why, he just knows that in those two months of knowing Harry he felt so… close, so safe, so sure, so _himself_. And he wished right there and then that he could be himself _for_ himself instead of depending on another person on being so, because that way he’d be completely independent and wouldn’t need or want Harry at all.

Even his baby knows he’s lying to himself, he’s sure of it.

He sighed as he tugged on the bottom hem of his maternity shirt in front of his mirror. There was no way to hide it now: it was utterly, completely, painstakingly obvious he, Louis Tomlinson, was pregnant. His belly was the size of a balloon now, so much that he constantly fears he’s going to pop- and he’s only twenty-five weeks along!

He shook his head at his reflection but with a grin on his lips. He wasn’t sure whether to feel proud or cautious that he’s showing, but he’ll let himself get absorbed in joy to not think of how he should feel and just _feel_ for once.

With that in mind, he went out on the street and made his way to his favorite café- Harry’s café. He could feel the stares, could hear the whispers, but he didn’t care. He was happy- that’s all that’s important to him. There’s a part of him missing, he felt it, and he’s desperate to not think too much into it in fear of opening Pandora’s box and discovering something he doesn’t wish to discover (though, who’s he kidding, it’s clear to him, it’s clear to his neighbor, it’s clear to the dog currently fetching a stick on the park a few blocks away).

Once he reached the doors to the café he breathed deeply. He needed to face him eventually, so why not now? There were only three days to go for his next appointment, he’s hyped up on prenatal vitamins and salt water, and he can do this.

“Wish Daddy luck, baby,” he whispered to his belly before entering the café. Unlike all of the past times he went there, it was packed with people of all ages. There were little kids running from one side of the cramped store to the other side, teenagers sulking in the background while listening to either depressing or underappreciated music with too-big glasses and hair covering their eyes, young adults on dates with their loved ones, adults crammed with too much paperwork, and the elderly laughing and recounting old tales.

Louis couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face as he too remembered of things of his past, his past involving the store. When Harry’d step in between Louis’s legs while the smaller man was sitting on the counter just to poke at his nose or tell him horrible jokes, when Niall would cuss them out for not letting him speak to his boyfriend (even though they weren’t doing anything and Zayn says almost nothing), when Zayn once came in and whispered in Niall’s ear something mischievous that made Niall go up to them, place his hands on both their hairs and push them together while screaming “kiss!” countless times… they all seemed so far away yet it was barely a month ago.

Right now, looking around he noticed something: Harry wasn’t there. He saw Niall currently baking some chocolate muffins along with Zayn (Zayn, the god), who’s frosting them. He saw a new employee (who’s apparently called Liam, if his nametag was anything to get by) in the cash register – where Harry used to be-, taking orders and preparing drinks.

He got in line and waited around fifteen minutes for his turn. When he finally got to the counter, he looked at the back to see if he saw a curly-headed lad but to no avail.

“Good morning!” Liam said to him with a cheerful smile. He looks like a puppy. “What can I get for you today?”

Louis tried not to let his disappointment be noticeable. “Um, I want a hot chocolate with a small order of scones. And two doughnuts. And a chocolate muffin.” He bit his lip before adding, “No, make that a medium order of scones. Large. Sorry.”

Liam just smiled at him and nodded. “Alright then. Anything else?”

Louis shook his head. “No, that’d be all.”

“Okay then!” Liam turned around for a bit before saying, “please don’t be sad. A person as pretty as you shouldn’t be sad.”

Louis’s eyes widened at the comment and he didn’t have time to process the blush that formed on his cheeks because _those were Harry’s words_. Well, not exactly, but so eerily similar, with the same message, and it just made him cry.

“Hey, you okay?”

Louis nodded quickly and wiped his tears with his thumb. Stupid hormones. “Y-Yeah, ‘m fine, thanks for asking.”

Liam nodded and picked up the cup for the hot chocolate. “Name?”

“Louis,” he responded quickly and heard a tray fall to the floor and an Irish accent cursing loudly.

Louis looked at the kitchen just in time to see Niall storming out of the kitchen in a hurry and looking at him with wide, shinning eyes. “Louis, it’s you!”

Louis smiled at him and scratched the back of his neck. “Y-Yeah, ‘tis me.”

“Ye cunt!” Niall yelled and practically threw himself onto Louis in a huge hug but pulled back when he felt it, the baby bump. “Are you-?”

“Yeah, I am,” Louis stated proudly. Zayn soon appeared and placed a hand over Niall’s shoulder as Niall’s eyes watered.

“Fuck, Lou, why didn’t you tell us? Is it Harry’s? Is that why you haven’t been around much? You haven’t told Harry or something? Harry’ll take it fine, he’s a good lad, it’s okay-.”

“Niall, Niall, babe,” Zayn stopped his rambling with soft spoken words. “Let Louis talk.”

Louis smiled at Zayn in gratitude and corrected him. “I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t ready. No, it isn’t Harry’s, but he is the reason I haven’t been around much. And yes, I’ve told Harry, and he didn’t take it quite well.” His voice broke a bit at those last words but he hoped Niall didn’t notice. Niall, of course, did.

“Aw, Lou, babe, what’d he do?” Zayn, surprisingly, was the one to ask him with a hard edge. They haven’t talked enough to become best buddies, that’s for sure, but he does consider Zayn dear to him and he’s glad to see Zayn considers him as such as well.

Louis bit his lip, not sure if he should say, but there wasn’t anything wrong, not really. “He just told me he needed time to think. Three weeks ago. So I thought he’d already thought about it by now.”

As he uttered those last words the door jingled open- a sound Louis used to be extremely familiar with but now seemed like a distant memory- and in came the legendary Harry Styles. His hair was hidden in a loosely fitted beanie and his body donned tight skinny jeans and a white button shirt (yet only the last three buttons were done). He wore a dimpled grin on his face, crinkled eyes and fuck, Louis’s missed him so much, missed that beautiful smile he had thought was only for him, only his. That smile that could stop wars, so blinding and precious, yet he had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach and felt like that smile could instead start wars; wars inside of his head, of who he is, what he’s feeling, what he should do.

 _I’ve got to be brave_ , he thought to himself. And he planned on being it, but when he saw how Harry’s face paled once his eyes fell on Louis’s being his instinct was to flee like a fucking bird with a clipped wing.

He would’ve been successful, if it weren’t for a certain blond named Niall.

Niall marched right over to him and pushed his chest. “You fucking prick!”

Harry’s eyes widened as he stumbled but caught himself before he could fall. “Niall, I-.”

“He trusted you! He looked at you like a fucking God, and you treat him like this? You’re such a fucking prick, he needed you! And you _left_ him! I am going to cut-.” He was now being dragged away by a serene Zayn, since Harry was frozen in his spot as well as Louis (wow, this is embarrassing). Zayn took him away and petted his hair yet responded with a glare to Harry’s thankful gaze.

Once they were both away, and the few customers and Liam were paying their undivided attention to them, Harry finally took hesitant steps towards Louis. “Hey, um, could we talk somewhere? Alone?”

Louis almost didn’t respond because _shit, he’s missed his voice._ The rough and deep color of his voice always sent shivers down his neck, his spine; and it still does. “Y-Yeah, sure.”

He lets himself be lead away by Harry to wherever and tried to calm himself down. He couldn’t let his feelings get the best of him. He tried several of the breathing techniques taught in those “getting ready for labor” videos he bought three days ago and he calmed down a bit, yeah, but he was in a frenzy when he saw where Harry was leading them: the park where they had their first date.

His heartbeat quickened and his hands suddenly felt clammy as he remembered everything they did in there, it had definitely been a wonderful day.

They sat down in one of the benches and Harry immediately took Louis’s hands in his. “Hi, Lou, how’ve you been?”

“Oh, you know. Good. Besides the constant vomiting that has honestly subsided, the horrible migraines, the back aches, stretch marks that make me want to puke at the image of myself… and, oh, the fact that I have to deal with all of this alone. But good, yeah.”

Harry winced at the last comment and bit his lip. “I’m sorry to have left you a month ago, Louis, I really am-.”

“I’m not mad at you for leaving me there, Harry,” Louis sighed. “I’m mad at you not keeping contact with me. You leaving was a natural reaction, you not talking to me again was an asshole move.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Harry was looking at the floor now. “I just- I like you so fucking much, you literally have no idea, and… what if I mess this up?”

Louis’s heartbeat quickened once more and he grasped Harry’s chin with his fingers and tilted it upward, forcing him to look at him in the eyes. “What are you talking about?”

Harry’s eyes widened and then looked downward for a bit. “Just- what if I’m not a good father? What if the child grows to resent me for not being his biological father?”

Louis opened his mouth to reply but his breath is caught in his throat as he realized something. _Harry was thinking ahead._ Harry was thinking… as if they’re already together, as if they’re going to last forever. That thought alone… “D’you think we’ll be together?”

“I thought we already were.”

Louis didn’t know how to respond to that, certainly not. He was frozen in his spot once more, just looking at Harry and how fucking sincere he’s being with an admonishing yet grateful intent. He wants to say something, anything, everything, but his cell phone chirps, notifying him it’s time for his OBGYN visit.

Louis stands up suddenly and looks away for a bit. “I, uh, I got to go, I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you later?”

Just as he’s walking away Harry grasps his wrist, not unlike he’d done when he was first going to ask him on a date. “Can I come?”

Now it was Louis’s eyes that widened. “What?”

“I want to go with you.”

“But, won’t you be freaked out? Harry, what if you leave me again?” He’s not sure he can stand him being left once more, much less by Harry, but Harry’s quick to shake his head.

“No, I swear, I won’t. I’ll stay by your side and help as much as you let me.”

Louis’s answer is to cry and nod, and lead the way now, because what can he do other than that?

++

“Louis! Hey, how are- oh.” Was Kayleigh’s introduction this time, cutting herself off as her eyes settled on Harry. “I assume this is the father?”

Harry’s eyes widened and Louis immediately shook his head hastily. “No, no, he isn’t the father, he’s, um, he’s-.”

“His boyfriend.”

Louis looked at him extremely surprised and it was a bit unnerving. “Y-Yeah.”

Kayleigh looked at both of them weirdly but nodded nonetheless after seeing Louis’s pleading eyes. “Okay then. How long have you two been together?”

“For about a month now.”

“Ah, a month. Well, _boyfriend_ , where were you during Louis’s last appointment?” Her tone was mocking, clearly chastising him and, oh, this isn’t going to end well.

Before Harry could answer, Louis beat him to it. “Kayleigh, let’s just… drop it, yeah? And get on with it?”

She was having a fierce stare-off with a slightly intimidated Harry but nodded and looked at Louis once more. “Well then, let’s get started, babe!”

The whole appointment was going to be extremely tedious, he felt it in his bones. “Come over and sit down, Louis. And boyfriend.”

Harry’s jaw clenched but he followed orders nonetheless, along with Louis. They walked until Louis sat and lied down on the chair designed for sonograms while Harry took seat beside him in a comfy chair. The OBGYN scoffed at him a bit more inconspicuously but did her work. She lifted Louis’s shirt and Harry gasped because _it’s so big_. Louis had barely realized it, since he’s daily seeing himself, but Harry noticed how round his stomach was and it seemed like it’s about to _pop_.

However, after (another) chastising glance he remained silent, though his eyes were still shining with awe. The doctor squeezed lubricant onto his belly and passed the scanner along it.

“Well, Louis and boyfriend, the baby boy’s completely healthy-looking!”

“Baby boy..?” Harry mumbled and looked straight at the monitor, hoping to identify the baby himself, somehow, with tears running down his face (yet he’d never admit it).

“Right now he’s about… thirteen and a half inches, head to toe. And should weigh around one and a half pounds! Around this time he should be growing his hair and gaining baby fat, which is why the skin doesn’t look as wrinkled as it did in the last appointments, ‘member?”

Louis nodded, completely in awe (as he always is). “Yeah, yeah”

“I know you wouldn’t remember,” Kayleigh continued, staring at Harry. “Since you weren’t here last time.”

“Listen here, you-.”

“Okay, okay, let’s just get on with it, please?” Louis tried, he really did, but he knew they wouldn’t back off so he used his excess of hormones to his advantage for once, and busted into tears. “Please, I-I just want everything to be okay with the baby, so stop f-fighting.”

Both of them immediately calmed down and Harry launched himself at Louis as the doctor left for a moment, softly petting his hair as a “sorry” while murmuring sweet nothings. As Louis looked at him he noticed the tear tracks, “Harry Edward Styles, were you crying?”

“Yes,” he admits unabashedly. “The baby, he’s… he’s fucking beautiful. Just like his father.”

Louis blushed like an idiot. “Stop it, I am fat and achy and simply horrible to manage.”

“No, you’re wrong,” Harry admonishes. “And I’m so freaking sorry for not being here for you before. This… this is wonderful, and I’m so fucking glad you decided to give me another chance, Lou. I lo-.”

Louis immediately shushed him. “Don’t.”

“Why not?” Harry asked, with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Because,” Louis started with a catch in his throat. “You’re overwhelmed by feelings and emotions, and you might say something that you don’t mean. I don’t want that. If you ever feel like you love me, all calmed down and centered, then you can tell me.”

Harry nodded but looked away because he’s known he loves him since their first date, he’s clearer than ever, but he doesn’t want for Louis to think it’s a misdirected feeling.

Soon enough the OBGYN comes back to take a sample of Louis’s blood (for a glucose-screening test, she said, but if the wicked smile plastered on her lips was anything to go by he’d say it was to satisfy her sadistic needs) and then let them off, not bothering to tell Louis about what to expect these weeks because it was all the same; swelling, especially on his feet and ankles, heartburn, fatigue, etc.

However, when they left, Louis was sure something had changed between them both. They were back to the LouisandHarry they were before Harry found out, all happy and giggly and _close_.

When Harry took Louis back to his apartment, he got beside him on the bed and threw both his legs and right arm across his body, imitating the big spoon. Louis sighed in content and tucked himself even closer to Harry, breathing him in completely.

Once Louis’s breath evened out, Harry rested his eyes upon his beautiful face and kissed his lips chastely, murmured a sweet “I love you, darling” and fell asleep.

++

They returned to the routine they used to have before everything kind of fell apart. The only change was that now Harry went with Louis to his bi-monthly appointments with the OBGYN, and would help Louis with anything and everything baby-wise. Every day that passed he’s falling even more for the baby, and for Louis; completely enamored by both.

But besides that, it was much the same. Louis went every single morning to the café and ordered Yorkshire tea, five scones and a blueberry muffin (sometimes Niall would create a special, unusual cupcake just to satisfy his cravings, which resulted in him peppering his face in kisses until Niall would say some obscene joke about how hard he was getting). He’d sit on the counter and chat with Niall and Harry until Harry’s shift ended. After, they’d go to Harry’s apartment to watch movies or shows, eat dinner, talk… just about anything, and it usually ended too late for Louis to return to his flat. Therefore, he slept almost always in Harry’s flat.

So it was no surprise (nor change, really) when Harry asked Louis a month after their first appointment together to move in with him.

They stumbled a bit inside of Harry’s flat- Louis failed to notice the little step to get in once more and almost fell- and immediately took seat on the couch. Louis turned the TV on and looked at Harry with pleading eyes.

“Back rub?” Harry asked with a knowing smile, already moving behind Louis.

“Yeeeeeees, please, it hurts like a bi-.”

“Ah!” Harry was quick to place his hand in front of Louis’s mouth. “No cursing in front of the baby.”

Louis sighed. “Oh c’mon, Haz, it can’t even hear us.”

“Not true!” Harry squeezed some oil on the palm of his hands as Louis took off his shirt. “The doctor said that the baby can hear us and recognize our voices.”

“Mm, true,” Louis said, resigning already. Soon enough he felt Harry’s large, calloused hands on his upper back and _holy fuck this is heaven_. He’d barely started and Louis’s already moaning like crazy, tossing his head back as Harry’s thumbs gyrated circularly on the nods. He wasn’t kidding when he said his back hurt. A lot.

“Louis,” Harry warned, his voice rough.

“Yeah, I know,” Louis murmured and moaned once more accidentally. “It just feels good, ‘m sorry, t’was an accident.”

“Well, if you don’t stop moaning another accident is going to occur.”

Harry’s words had Louis blushing like mad. “Really?”

Harry stops for a moment, apprehensive. “By now you don’t know what you do to me?”

Louis shrugged a bit as he placed his right hand on his belly, frothing it over soothingly. “Maybe. I mean, I know what I used to do, but that was before I was so… _big_.”

The word felt heavy and awful on his tongue but it’s not far from the truth. Over this past month Louis’s stomach has enlarged almost impossibly. If he didn’t know better he’d say he’s giving birth to twins from how big it is. The doctor said that it was perfectly normal for a man to be that huge, since the stomach itself expanded- without accounting the baby- to make space for the female organs he needed to have in order for the baby to, well, grow. Still, he couldn’t help but feel… fat. And he knows better, he really does, but he’s always been so worried about his appearance (being the boyfriend of a successful businessman who often took him to work meetings and gatherings has its effects) and it kind of depressed him a bit.

“Lou, babe,” Harry moved to be in front of Louis and look at him directly in the eyes. “You’re big, but it’s because you’re carrying a _baby_. You’re not fat; and even if you were, you’d still be beautiful. You’re always beautiful.”

Louis blushed once more and looked away. “You say that because you’re my boyfriend.”

“No,” Harry shook his head and took his hands in his own. “I say that because I love you.”

With those words Louis’s world suddenly… stopped. All he could think of was holyshitholyshitholyshit. “Y-You w-what?”

“I love you,” Harry said so sincerely, so joyful, with his stupidly green eyes sparkling like true gems and it made Louis feel like a puke-worthy poet. “I’ve known for some time. And I wanted to say it now because… I want you to move in with me.”

Okay, _now_ Louis’s world definitely stopped. “ _What_?”

“Yeah,” Harry shrugged casually and smiled hopefully. “I want to be able to take care of you closely, much more than I do right now. I want to help you in every way I can. I want to be there for you, and for the baby.”

It’s no surprise, of course, that Louis’s crying by now. “B-But Harry, I’m not at all pleasant at this moment of my life.”

“Babe-.”

“No, no, you have to take these things in consideration,” Louis looked at him, fixated. “I’m extremely moody.”

“I can deal with that.”

“I feel very lonely most of the time.”

“Then I’ll be there to make you feel less lonely every single time.”

“I eat a lot.”

“I find that adorable.”

“I- you’re crazy,” Louis couldn’t help the grin that formed on his face. “I’m crying almost all the time.”

“I’ll be there with a box of Kleenex, crying alongside you.”

“I fart a lot as well.”

“I know, I sleep with you almost every night,” Louis’s so embarrassed oh dear god. “It’s okay, it’s natural, and it’s actually even adorable because you actually do a little _squeak_ -.”

“Okay, enough of that!” Louis’s already too embarrassed. He put his face in his hands and contemplated for a bit before mumbling “yes.”

Harry’s eyes widened in glee and his face broke into a huge smile. “What?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Louis said once more, knowing what Harry was playing at.

“ _What_?”

“Yes, yes, yes! I’ll move in with you!”

“Yay!” Harry screamed and threw himself (cautiously, of course) at Louis and kissed him repeatedly. Louis giggled against Harry’s mouth as he returned the kiss, murmuring “idiot” when he caught a break.

But he’s fine with Harry being an idiot, because Harry’s _his_ idiot.

++

Louis’s nine months along when he gets an unexpected visit.

He’s been living with Harry for two months now and it’s been absolutely wonderful. They moved in his flat because, even though Harry’s is much bigger (apparently he has rich folks but he doesn’t talk about them much) all of Louis’s stuff is in his own; so for the moment, they’re staying there. All of the baby stuff is being set up at Harry’s, though; so they’ll move in there as soon as Louis gives birth.

Throughout the entire process Harry’s extremely attentive to his needs and is always making a 4:36am run to KFC to buy him a double down with extra bacon, extra Swiss cheese and extra sauce. He gives Louis back and feet massages whenever he feels Louis needs them, goes to every single appointment, makes sure Louis eats healthily most of the time (because Louis has absolutely no qualms about what’s good and what’s bad to eat), and is always there to give Louis sweet kisses and soft caresses. Louis is absolutely blissed out, and what he feels for Harry is just too strong for him to handle.

So he decided to ignore it, mostly, until he couldn’t.

“I’m going to run a bath,” Louis said and tried to stand up from the couch but is just _too fucking big_ and ended up falling back again.

Harry came in running from the kitchen and helped him up. “Babe, you’ve got to be careful, you’re nine months along- almost ready to pop!”

“And I can’t wait until I do, seriously,” Louis looked at his stomach and placed both of his hands on it. “Those Braxton Hicks really do unmotivated a guy.”

Harry barked out a laugh. “Lou, you don’t know what’ll happen. Maybe you’ll have a painless birth!”

Louis scoffed. “Yeah, in my wildest dreams.” The doorbell ringed just then and Harry looked confused for a moment.

“You expecting anyone?”

Louis shook his head. “No, you?”

“No,” Harry pondered for a moment but then shrugged. “Must be Niall or something. Could you check it out while I run you that bath?”

Louis smiled at him, all crinkly-eyed and stupid, and pressed a kiss to his lips. “You’re a doll.”

“So I’ve been told,” he cheekily added and kissed him twice more before going to the bathroom. Louis giggled softly at his retreating form and shook his head to rid himself of his love-struck stupidity before opening the door. His smile fell, though, as soon as he saw who’s on the other side. “Matt?”

“Hey, babe,” Matt replied almost ashamed, looking down at the floor. “How are you doing?”

“If you cared about how I was doing, you wouldn’t have left in the first place.”

Matt kept his gaze down as he nodded. “Yeah, I- can I come in, Lou?”

“Absolutely not!” Louis said, flabbergasted. “What the hell are you even doing here?!”

“I,” he bit his lip and stood there motionless, thinking, as if trying to complete his thoughts before saying anything. “I came here… because I want the baby.”

Louis looked at him, eyes wide. “You want what?”

“The baby,” Matt said. “It’s obvious you’re not keeping him, so I thought-.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Louis was angry now. “Why wouldn’t I keep the baby?”

“Well, it’s clear that you’re unfit to take care of a child.” Matt presumptuously stated, hands in expensive pockets. “You’re too young and stupid, you don’t work and have no way of supporting yourself, and much less a child, and you have nobody besides you.”

“Oh, and you do?”

“Actually, yes,” Matt looked around casually, as if what he was saying wasn’t breaking Louis into pieces. “Lana, from the office.”

“Y-You, Lana, what?”

“We’ve been together for a year.”

And _oh_ , because Louis has only been pregnant for nine months, and he’s been without Matt for six. “Y-You were cheating on me?”

“Louis, Louis, Lou,” Matt calmly said and placed his hands on Louis’s shoulders. “I’m a man with needs that need to be met, and you just weren’t enough.”

“Fuck you,” Louis spat out, tears running freely down his face. “Fuck you and Lana, you can go fuck yourselves. You’re not getting this baby, you’ll be lucky if you even see him. Now get off my damn property.”

“I don’t think I will,” Matt said, using his force and his grip on Louis’s shoulders to push him backwards, inside the flat. “Seeing as this flat is in my name.”

“Fuck you,” Louis said once more. “Get out, get the fuck out! I don’t want to see your goddamn face ever again! Just- go away!” He pushed ineffectively at Matt’s chest but was stopped when he felt Matt’s hand make contact with his skin.

The force, the shock, he didn’t know what, but something was strong enough to make him actually fall down (on his bum, gratefully), eyes wide and cheek red.

“Lou, babe, everything oka-.” Harry went to the living room and tried to process what was going on. A strange man was in the flat, and Louis was… Louis was on the floor, holding his reddened cheek with his hand. The sight made Harry see red.

He walked up to Matt and, without asking questions, punched him straight across the nose, hearing a lovely crack as the man went down. “Who the fuck are you, and what are you doing with my boyfriend?”

“Ah, so I see you’ve found somebody,” Matt says calmly, as if he hadn’t just been punched except for him cleaning up the specks of blood with his thumb. “Doesn’t seem like much.”

“Shut the fuck up and answer me,” Harry growled, ready to punch him once more.

“I’m Matt, Louis’s ex.”

“Oh,” was all Harry said before punching him again. Louis looked at them with tears and snot running freely on his face and he whimpered. He couldn’t really _do_ anything, and Matt _did_ deserve it, but he couldn’t still ignore the sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach as his mind was flooded with the memories of his past, of his past with Matt.

“You’re a fucking asshole, you know that?” Harry said and squatted down, facing the lying man with a strong hold on his shirt before punching him yet again, and pulling Matt towards him. “What kind of man leaves their boyfriend, especially when they’re pregnant?”

“An intelligent one, who knows when what he has isn’t enough.” Harry punches him once more, this time straight at his lip. His face is bloody, as is Harry’s knuckles.

“Louis is more than enough,” Harry said simply. With that he stood up and went to a crestfallen Louis, who was numbly looking at them both. He helped him stand up and immediately inspected the red cheek. His eyes were wide, pupils dilated, and his nostrils were flaring in anger. But with a soothing touch from Louis he seemingly calmed down a bit. That is, until Matt spoke once more.

“That baby is mine, so I have every right-.”

“That baby is _mine_ , not yours,” Harry corrected with pride and Louis couldn’t hold in the gasp that made its way past his lips. Harry just… what? He just- but Harry knew it wasn’t his, so why was he so adamantly stating that it was? “So you better fuck off.”

Matt seemed surprised but he stood up and fixed his suit (ever the presumptuous man). “I always knew Louis must have had affairs behind my back,” he said, nose stuck up high in the air in arrogance. “Well, it seems I made the right decision by leaving you. Not that I doubted it, but this only proves it.”

“Oh, it was,” Louis agreed wholeheartedly, tears still running because _damn, that hurts_. “If it wasn’t for you leaving, I wouldn’t have met Harry. If you hadn’t left, I would’ve never known what _being loved_ actually feels like, and being able to love back with as much strength.” With that he stepped aside from Harry and led Matt curtly to the door. “So thank you, for if it wasn’t for your stupidity I would’ve never been truly happy. Goodbye.”

With those words like an ultimatum, Matt left and Louis shut the door, proud with himself and just so fucking happy. There was something that wasn’t permitting him be completely, thoroughly happy, and he now knew what it was: _closure._ He needed closure, closure he thought he’d never have the chance to obtain. But now that he has, he’s much more joyful and carefree and can actually express his sentiments.

He turned around and saw Harry looking at him, with curiosity, pride and so much love. He made his way to him and put his hands on his neck. “Did you mean it? About the baby, di- did you mean it?”

Harry tucked strands of Louis’s now long hair behind his ear. “Yeah, ‘course. That baby you’re carrying is mine.”

“But you know-.”

“Lou, babe, I don’t care if it’s not mine biologically. It’s mine where it counts.”

Louis broke into a huge smile and bit his lip, blushing like mad and just _too fucking gleeful._

“Did you mean it? That-.”

“That I love you?” Louis smiled and tugged softly at the short hairs on the nape of Harry’s neck. “Yeah. I love you so much it sometimes hurts.”

Harry’s hands are now on Louis’s belly and he thumbed at it unconsciously, eyes gleaming and dimples prominent once more. “You- You do? I, wow, fuck, I love you so much. I’m just- I love you.”

Louis giggled and leaned forward, his lips centimeters away from Harry’s. “I love you too, bub.”

They stared at each other for seconds, minutes, hours. Breaths mingling between them, hands together on top of Louis’s stomach, both with too-huge smiles. The moment was interrupted, but definitely not ruined, by the baby kicking just where both of their hands were. Both of them gasped and looked at it before looking at each other once more, their expressions never changing, never faltering.

“Kiss me,” Harry said.

“Gladly,” Louis complied, leaned in, and kissed him.

++

Five weeks and six days later, Louis gave birth to a beautiful baby boy with some minor complications[LC1] .

By minor, it meant that Louis almost completely bleed out and the baby had been born with a birth defect.

“Babe, where are you?”

“In the kitchen!” Louis yelled out when he heard Harry’s question. Harry had just come back home from work at the café (which was a part-time job since he also, unknown to Louis, worked at a law firm three out of five week days) and Louis was in the process of making himself a sandwich.

“Hey, love,” Harry greeted and kissed Louis’s cheeks while placing his hands on his stomach (his favorite spot). “How was your day?”

“Good,” Louis murmured, tossing his head back unto Harry’s shoulder. “I watched Miss Universe re-runs from ’06, I think.”

“’Twas the year the puertorican won, right?” Harry questioned and Louis giggled.

“Why, yes, but how would such a macho man know about that?’

“My masculinity has nothing to do with the shows I watch,” Harry replied cheekily and kissed Louis’s neck. Louis sighed contently and tilted his neck a bit to give him more access, craving for this sort of intimacy and care right now. He just felt so tired nowadays, and his ankles were swollen and his bump was _huge_ (of course, Harry loved it, but Louis was so tired from having to be extra careful all the time).

They were getting into it, Harry’s lips on Louis’s collarbones when a shot of pain courses through Louis’s spine from his bladder. He instinctively curls in on himself and yells “ow, fuck!”

Harry stops his ministrations and looks at Louis, alert, worried. “Lou, babe, you okay? Everything alright? What’s going on?”

“I,” Louis felt the wetness and about twenty seconds later registered it. “My water broke.”

“Your wa-.”

“My water broke, this baby is coming out!” Louis yelled and swatted at Harry’s head for not understanding quickly. Harry’s eyes widened and his lips were in ‘o’ as Louis waddled to the living room and picked up a bag with necessary items for when he gave birth. He then made his way to the door but wasn’t followed by Harry, who was still idiotically standing there in shock. “Harry, for God’s sake, I’m giving birth right now! Man up!”

He walked out and Harry shook himself out of his stupor and started running towards Louis without noticing that Louis’s water literally broke.

“Be careful, the floor’s wet!” Louis advised from outside but when he heard the loud _thump_ of something falling over he knew it was too late.

-

They made it to the hospital in eight minutes and forty-three seconds -not that Harry’s counting- and Harry was absolutely maniac, running everywhere with such a hurry and panic.

“Harry, love, calm down,” Louis soothed, wincing slightly at the pain of the baby pressing down but sort of used to the pain due to Braxton-Hicks. “You going crazy isn’t going to help, now, innit?”

“You’re right, you’re right, you’re right,” Harry said under his breath, Louis’s arm slung over his shoulders as he made his way inside the hospital. When he spotted the woman at the front he immediately tossed Louis’s arm down gently and started running towards here, extremely manic. “My boyfriend’s giving birth I need help!”

“Harry,” Louis whined and waddled to the front desk, hand on his hard stomach as he winced at every step.

“Okay, we’ll be sending a person to him right away-.”

“Now, woman, now! He needs it now!” Harry started hitting the counter desperately, as if he were the one giving birth.

“Harry, calm down!” Louis swatted the back of his head once more and then gave a soft cry in pain, which Harry did with him. _Idiot_.

Just then a nurse came in a hurry, a wheelchair in his hands. However, apparently, he wasn’t going fast enough. “Hurry, man, hurry! My boyfriend’s giving birth!”

“Harry, stop yelling! By now the whole goddamn hospital knows!” Louis admonished but smiled still and sat in the wheelchair. It was as if the chair was cursed, because suddenly the pain became almost unbearable. “Ah!”

“Ah!” Harry yelled with him, his face scrunched up in pain as he witnessed Louis’s pain. “Hurry, hurry, hurry!”

Harry ran along the nurse, who was running crazily while gripping tightly onto the wheelchair as hard as he could. They made it to the surgery room (Louis was having a C-Section) quickly and Harry wasn’t let in because the procedure was high-risk.

“What do you mean high risk?” Harry demanded, his voice higher than usual.

“Well, he’s a pregnant male, the procedure is a bit different and much more complicated-.”

“But he’ll live, right? Right?” Harry was desperate, and the doctor couldn’t answer him.

Louis stood up from the chair in too much pain with yells of “wait, wait!”. The nurses tried to catch him but, knowing how tense he must be and how dangerous it could be, let him. He went to the door and grabbed Harry’s hands in his. “I need you to promise me something.”

“What, Lou? I’ll do anything,” Harry assured.

“If it’s between the baby and me, save the baby,” Louis pleaded, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Harry shook his head repeatedly.

“Louis, baby, please,” Harry tried to take his hands away but Louis captured them once more and pulled them a little, forcing him to look at him. “Harry, please.”

With his eyes burning, a catch in his throat and a sinking feeling, he nodded painfully. Louis sighed in relief and kissed Harry’s hand. “I love you, bub.”

“Love you too, babe,” Harry said and kissed his cheek before Louis was softly brought inside the room once more.

Harry could do nothing but wait. Wait through the screams, wait through the worry, wait through the pain, and wait through the panic.

A doctor came out eight hours later. By that time Harry wasn’t alone; Zayn, Niall, his mum, Louis’s mum, his sister, and all of Louis’s sisters had come to wait for Louis alongside him. Harry quickly responded to his presence and stood up hastily, walking towards him. “Is everything alright? Did he give birth?”

“Almost, but,” the doctor’s countenance was full of pity and Harry’s face blanched. “I’m afraid to say your husband has lost way too much blood and might not be able to make it.”

A woman’s cry, along with seven others, could be heard, and Harry felt a comforting hand placed on his back as he stood there, unmoving. “There’s a chance I could save his life, though… but that might endanger the baby’s, who’s seemingly having too many problems.”

“Problems?” Harry asked brokenly.

The doctor nodded and bit his lip. “It seems the baby might be born with a birth defect.”

This time it was Harry who let out a painful cry and braced himself against the wall, too in shock to even cry. He couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ process this. Louis, _his Louis,_ might die, and their baby wasn’t going to be completely, perfectly healthy.

“What do you want me to do? Time’s running, though.”

Jay, Louis’s mother, quickly ran up to him. “Save my boo’s life, please.”

“What, and let our baby die?” Harry exclaimed and looked at the doctor with a torn expression. “I… save the baby, and then do everything you can for my Louis, please. That’s what he wanted.”

The doctor nodded and entered once more, leaving him outside with a crestfallen Jay- who now was hitting his chest. “How _dare_ you let my baby boy die! Do you not love him? Do you not care for him, you insensitive jerk-.”

“Stop it!” Harry held both of her hands in his and looked at her with red eyes, brimmed with tears. “I love your son so fucking much, I’m fulfilling his wish. He pleaded to me to save his baby over him, so I respected his wishes over my selfish desires. Do you think I _want_ him to die? I’ve barely known him, yet I love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him!”

That admittance left everyone in a state of shock- Jay included. All of them were speechless, and Harry just looked at them and went to the bathroom. He stayed there for half an hour, crying because he might never see Louis again. He might never be able to hold him in his hands again, or help him sleep by pressing sweet, soft kisses on the base of his spine; make him breakfast in bed, cook him dinner every day and see the face of pride and satisfaction; kiss him, hold him, love him… it was just too much.

Therefore, he stayed there until he could at least look strong enough to keep everyone at bay, himself included. While out, all he could do was hold his mother’s and Niall’s hands in his own, and wait like a fucking idiot.

-

The doctor came out once more, but this time he met the family’s worried and sad countenances with a gleeful one. “Great news! I was able to save your son _and_ save your husband’s life.”

“You- what? So Louis’s okay, the baby’s okay?” Harry broke into a smile that clashed with the tear marks and red eyes.

“Yes; however, there was a problem. Your baby-.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Harry cut him off curtly. “But could you release this information to both me and Louis, together? I think it’s only fair.”

The doctor seemed to comprehend and nodded, and led all of them to Louis’s room. Only one could enter at the time, and, of course, it was Harry.

When he came inside his heart stopped for a moment at the sight of Louis’s deterred state. He was pale, and looked so, so tired. Yet his eyes were open and he smiled softly at the sight of Harry. “Hey, Haz.”

“Hey, babe,” Harry said and sat down beside him, holding his hand. “How are you doing?”

“Good,” Louis said. “Thank you for keeping your promise.”

“Always, love,” Harry kissed the top of his hand. “They’ll bring him in soon. Have you thought up of any names?”

Louis thought for a moment before murmuring “Jasper” so low that Harry almost didn’t catch it.

Harry nodded in approval and smiled. “I like that. How about Roham for a second name? It sounds weird, but next to Jasper it may sound-.”

“Jasper Roham Styles-Tomlinson,” Louis smiles all crinkly-eyed and wistfully, “I like it.”

“Styles-Tomlinson?”

Louis looked at him with a smile. “That is, if you’ll keep him.”

Harry’s now concerned, and he runs his fingers lightly over Louis’s sweaty cheek, caressing softly. “What do you me-?”

The doctor, along with three nurses come in, and one of them is holding their baby; it’s the same one who carried Louis to the room. Harry looked quickly at Louis and when he received an approving nod he went forward and carried the baby in his arms. As he looked at the sleeping, so small baby only one thought ran through his mind: _beautiful._

“Good afternoon, Mr. Tomlinson. How’re you feeling?” The doctor inquired while taking out a pen and preparing to write down on some forms.

“Better than before, that’s for sure,” Louis smiled. “Tell us, doc.”

She nodded and cleared her throat. “It seems that your baby was born with Fragile X syndrome. The signs and symptoms of Fragile X syndrome have five general categories where individuals often show altered or arrested development: intelligence and learning; physical (long face or jaw, short stature, enlarged testicles); social and emotional (anxiety); speech and language (stuttering and disorganized speech); and sensory (sensitive to certain stimuli like sounds, balance problems). Each individual exhibits variations of these. I can’t say anything for sure about any of these, but it looks like physically he’ll only have short stature. And he seems to respond appropriately to the sensorial surroundings. But we’ll do a few tests to see, if that’s okay?”

“Sure, sure,” Louis murmured a bit sadly, but he was expecting it when he knew how complex his birth resulted to be. He bit his lip and shyly looked at Harry, who was looking at the baby still. “Haz?”

“He’s beautiful,” were the words Harry uttered.

“Yeah, babe, but what do you-.”

“Lou,” Harry went towards Louis, ignoring the rest of the people there. “I don’t care if he has some slight imperfections, he’s beautiful. And he’ll always be. This is just a minor complication, love.”

Louis felt his chest tighten with love and adoration and pride, and he felt overwhelmed. “How did I end up with someone like you?”

Harry shook his head, discarding the compliment before placing the baby unto Louis’s waiting arms. Louis couldn’t hold in the tears as he looked at the beautiful, rosy baby. He was small, about six pounds, and his facial features were barely developed but he was absolutely breathtaking. “Hi, there, big boy.”

Harry crowded beside him and looked at him as well. “Beautiful, isn’t he?”

Yet Louis shook his head. “Perfect.”

Harry grinned and nodded in agreement. “Perfect.”

After, the whole procedure. The baby was taken from their arms in order to do some tests and they officially named their baby boy Jasper Roham Styles-Tomlinson. Both Louis and the baby stayed hospitalized for two weeks until both recovered completely, and Harry stayed alongside them each and every single day.

Three weeks after, they were all moving together inside a one-story, six bedroom house Harry had bought a month before as a surprise for Louis.

Eight months after that Louis and Harry were getting married. The ceremony was short and familiar, and it took place in the café (Niall nearly had a heart attack at how romantic it all was). They were then officially the Styles-Tomlinson, and their honeymoon was spent in their home, cuddling and watching Disney movies.

They don’t know what the future holds, how they’ll be in ten years’ time, but they know how it is now and they couldn’t have wished for anything better.

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAANNNND THAT'S THAT  
> i'm extremely glad to have finished this!  
> i hope you all liked it :) and i'm so sorry for the stupid ending but i seriously did not know how to end it  
> Thank you to all of you who were constantly asking me to update it, and who're genuinely extremely interested in it :) I hope I didn't fail you guys!  
> I may write a bit of a short sequel (key word: might; i have too much on my plate but i'm sad i couldn't write a pregnant!louis riding pliant!harry scene) but it's not for sure, and it's only if people are interested in it :)
> 
> so.... yeah! thank you and sorryyyyyy ♥ i'm [here](http://tippytoeslouis.tumblr.com) on tumblr :D


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